Thanksgiving

I love today. The menu Reade has posted on Facebook is amazing. We are so lucky to have such great hosts, who continue to call us family, no matter what we bring to the table. Reade and John are amazing, and their house is a warm haven of lovely music and ambiance. Spending time with them is always refreshing and a nice break from the hectic pace of every day life.

I have a lovely home, two boys who continuously challenge me, amuse me and constantly love me. A warm little cuddly rabbit of a dog who adores me and helps keep me warm during the long Minnesota winters. Stan and I both have fabulous jobs and are thankful for our employers and clients.

I have wonderful friends in my life. I love how I have found them, or they found me, in some of the most unlikely places: the park, a gas station, at work. My friends are my family, and I am fortunate to have them.

My sisters know me and are always there for me. I love them dearly.

This year has been challenging. It's been frustrating, exciting and most of all, exhausting. But I am the little engine that could, the tiny sapling who is willing herself into a strong and lovely tree (hopefully one with flowers).

Things are good and I am thankful. So very thankful!!!

Somebody hit me with a sleepy stick.

It is 8:41 and I am officially exhausted and ready for bed.

I am lame.

Wow.

I have a box, an entire box, filled with nothing but the wonder and majesty of size 14 pants. Dress pants, casual cords, stylish jeans.

After cleaning my upstairs closet I am now motivated to get my act together even more in the exercise and nutrition department. I mean, these are clothes we are talking about here people. If the words "expanding my wardrobe" don't get you excited, there is something wrong with you (or you are a boy).

Yes, the week of Thanksgiving, a perfect time to start dieting. I think I will start by rewarding myself with a glass of wine.

Yes, yes. . .

Shopping for our weekend getaway. . .

The cashier says, "Since you spent over $30 you get a free DVD! Just pick one from the basket."

Yippee! And hmm. . . which one to choose? I narrowed to down to two: "She-Male Love" and "Casting Couch."

I would tell you which one I got, but that would be TMI. After all, I do have boundaries!

We like our romance with a hint of horror: Part 2 of 3

So, where was it I left you hanging? Ah! There you are. As I was saying, we wanted somewhere relaxing, elegant, quiet. We had booked a room at The Water Street Inn in Stillwater, MN. We received a confirmation call that included two disturbing facts:

1. The rest of the inn was booked with a wedding party and guests.
2. Our room was a smoking room.

We canceled the reservation and were on the internets, yet again, to find a place to stay. We decided on The Outing Lodge.

Ah! Pretty!

The reservations were made, $20 was saved and we were set! Then I made the mistake of looking at reviews. Here are my top two faves:

This one was titled: "Strange, Private, Interesting."
"The building is very old, and kind of reminded me of the movie The Shinning. Not so much in a bad way though. . . however, I won't say to anyone don't ever go there, it was interesting in a strange and rustic way."
How can it remind you of The Shining in a good way?

This was titled: "Worst B&B I have even encountered!!!! Not Safe! Beware!"
"Driving up the long dirt road I looked to my left and saw an old rusted white van with junk scattered all around it. Pulling up the the house was more rusted old vehicles that hadn't been moved in what looked like decades. I felt like I was in one of those old horror movies that you never made it out alive."
"Our room was musty smelling and the lock on the door could have been picked by a two year old."
"If you stay in room 3 look out the bathroom window and view the face implanted in the concrete of the stoop. Creepy...yes!" (We are in room 1 but will peek in room 3 if we get a chance! I want photo evidence!)
"When it comes down to it this place is just a front page headline news story waiting to happen. And let me just say we did not want to be the names on the headline. Stay far away from this creepy, trashy, desolate lodge. It would be better to stay with your inlaws."

So, here we are. Adventure and possibly mutilation await! Oh, and did I forget to mention that it was the scene of a horror movie? It's called My Life in the Horror and no, I am not kidding. I think we might want to write our wills and up those insurance policies.

The question on your mind right now must be: "Why are you not canceling your reservation!?!" Well, we don't trust review sites 100% and we are curious to a fault. If it is spectacularly horrible, we will leave immediately. Otherwise, we'll bring our video camera and see if we can capture a Ghost Hunters moment. Hopefully we won't have a 1408 experience, or it's alternate ending. Besides, the stories? They will be golden. We can tell already.

We like our romance with a hint of horror: Part 1 of 3

Ten years ago, Stan and I walked into The Cotton Mansion in Duluth and Stan said, "I feel like I am in the setting of every B horror movie ever made." Needless to say, it wasn't the honeymoon setting I was hoping for. Since our visit, they have cleaned and remodeled the mansion, but the feel of the entry is still the same.

The dirt encrusted dome is now shiny clean, however, the dark woodwork and blood red velvet remain. Unfortunately, you can not see the carved cherub faces which appear every few steps a la The Haunting. I swear I saw those mother fuckers move. Conveniently located at the top is a circular hallway, perfect for chase scenes and lots of doors for a Scooby Doo comedy bit.

Our room was the Sunset Room. The room itself looks the same, but the bathroom underwent a makeover. When we stayed there it was all white. It looked so institutional, we thought it was a replica from One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. Now look at it:


Imagine this bathroom stark white with a bare heat register, no curtains, rugs or lace. There was a step stool to get into the tub. We were having a romantic bubble bath, with candles and wine when Stan leaned over and whispered in my ear this sweet nothing: "I feel like there are dead people watching us." It killed the mood and we dried off and watched Caddy Shack to dispel the evil spirits. On a similar note, it probably didn't help that we watched an afternoon matinee of The Blair Witch Project.

With our 10th anniversary looming on the horizon, we have joked about staying at the Cotton Mansion, but simply can not bring ourselves to step foot in the creepy cavern of an entryway again. We wanted somewhere elegant, quiet and relaxing. So I made reservations for a B&B in Stillwater, far from the ghostly reach of the spirits of the Cotton Mansion. Or so I thought. . .

More to say in Part 2: The Reckoning.

Facebook is ruining my blog.

Also:

Crackwhore says what?

Noah is Seven.

Happy Birthday to my larger than life kid.

Details and pictures of the day to follow!

Noah has his first loose tooth.

I think I am going to have to buy him this.

What your tattoo location says about you

How to use bacon

Camping!!!

Memorial Day Weekend we went camping at the Old Barn Resort in Preston, MN. It was the first time I camped outside of a state park. Instead of sites separated by trees, there was a big field with gravel roads leading to the individual sites. At first, the lack of privacy was unnerving, but once we set up camp, we hardly registered the people next to us and the RV's across the way were just our TV for the weekend. We tuned in only when we wanted amusement.

We went camping with Sarah. Our last adventure with her before she moves to California to be with Jesse. Sarah is an amazing camper. She rolled our tent and sleeping bags into impossibly tiny rolls and packed the car as expertly as a UPS employee. She loved swimming enough to brave the indoor unheated pool not just once, but twice. She also kept the boys entertained with card games when the parents needed a break. Sarah is the awesome.

The true masterminds of the trip were the Zarate family of Ulises, Erica and Oso. We were invited for the fun and are glad they shared their weekend with us. Thanks to them, we biked into Lanesboro on the Root River Bike Trail. We spent a great afternoon there having lunch, hanging out at the park and partaking in wine tasting at the local winery. We had a meet up snafu, so we missed having dinner with them and attending the live local version of "A Prairie Home Companion." Instead we were stuck eating to live music so painful we considered shoving our knives into our ears, but since we wanted them for later, we resisted the urge.

The last day we packed up and went in search of a cave tour. We were thinking of going to the Mystery Cave, but chose the Niagara Cave instead, since it was closer. We skipped eating in Lanesboro and headed for Harmony on the way to the cave. Unfortunately, all of the restaurants (3) in town were closed but there was a grocery store open. We bought fried chicken and potato salad from the deli and ate it at a picnic table we found behind the town bank. The cave was fantastic, but so was heading home. At that point, we were ready for civilization again.

One other facet of the trip worth mentioning was the weather. While we didn't get rained out , we were ill prepared for the chilly evenings. At night, fog descended and the temperature dropped so low we could see our breath. Noah and Stan slept through it all, but Sarah and I were shivering. We should have gotten up and layered our clothing, but even the thought of leaving our sleeping bags was torturous. Thankfully, we learned from our mistake, and the second night we put on 2-3 layers of pants, shirts, sweatshirts and socks. That night it was cold outside, but inside the tent we were warm, or at the very least, not dying of cold.

Camping rocks. I hope to do it at least once more this summer!

Best Idea EVER

OMG. So should have done this at my wedding.

Brian & Eileen's Wedding Music Video. from LOCKDOWN projects on Vimeo.

Why you cryin?

How to impress a hipster

Tips on how to fit in with people who are cooler than you.

I just read. . .

Echos From The Dead by Johan Theorin.

5 out of 5.

Great book. Interesting. Balanced just right.

I am going to list books as I finish them. Hopefully this will help me begin my list again vs. when I was trying to do it monthly.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Birthday to me.

Last week was my birthday. Tomorrow is Mother's Day. In just one week, two days are set aside to celebrate my life and my motherhood.

I am struck by how lucky I am in my life. We live in a safe country, state, city and neighborhood. My kid has many friends on our block which he loves to play with. He goes to a good public school. We can pay our bills and both Stan and I have stable jobs.

Seriously, my biggest concerns are:

1. Credit card debt (how fast can we pay it off?)
2. Losing weight.

Those are not huge concerns in the grand scheme of things, especially since #1 was achieved by means of not putting Noah in daycare the first 5 years of his life. Yes, that was a HUGE sacrifice on our part, but we are proud that Noah was cared for by his parents vs. strangers. We got to experience all of the stages he went through. We didn't miss a thing, and for that, we are grateful.

And #2? Well, that is my own fault. Such is life, and all that jazz.

Seriously though, I am happy. I have learned a lot in the past year and gained insight and focus that make me feel wiser. I have gained friends that drive me to become a better person, to use my talents, my education and my skills. These people also make me laugh, which is especially useful when I am crying.

I know this is all maudlin, sentimental sounding crap, but I really do feel that 35 has been a year of growth and preparation for action. 36? You better watch out!

Now I am not just afraid of clowns. . .

I am terrified of them.

I blame the parents.

I ca't believe it either!

What Nightmares Are Made of.

UPDATE: Even better? He's a registered sex offender.

I don't think I'll ever be able to sleep again.

Roger Ebert is the man.

Seriously. I loved reading his article: "Why I believe in God."

Baby Hulk

I love kids. Especially when they belong to someone else.

The Internets Now Has Everything.

"Normally you wouldn't think an arsonist would be good at sex. Boy was I ever wrong!
Thanks Conjugal Harmony!"

Save the Date!

When? Saturday, May 2nd

Where? The Keathly Home

Why? To drink!!! I mean, to celebrate! Sarah is graduating from her master's program! Jesse will be in town! Lisa's birthday is on Cinco de Mayo! Also, I needed an excuse to buy a GIANT pinata. The only thing I need to figure out is what I am going to fill it with . . . besides the obligatory candy.

I'm sure at least one Facebook invitation will be generated, possibly three, but for now, mark the date!

Who wants to go camping Memorial Day weekend?

I do! I do!

Join us here. We will be staying in the campsites. We don't go for that fancy RV camping. Might as well just stay home, or crash in someone's trailer for the weekend. Shit, man. . . you don't bring a TV and microwave camping!

We do have an extra tent someone can borrow.

Note to self

You have a hard time with moderation.

You are a girl of extremes.

How am I doing so far?

Oh, yeah, I did pledge something, didn't I?

Hmm . . . yeah . . . about that, it's not going so well.

I have been stuffing my face with anything I want (insert joke from Jesse here).

BUT

I did go to spin class today and kicked some ass!

So, there is hope.

One Week Pledge

This week, I pledge no late night snacks and no more than one drink a day as I have no money to buy new pants.

I have to find another way to deal with this ever-loving crap pile of stress in my life.

Let's keep me accountable, m-kay?

Oh, and thanks.

Uuum. . . what?

I think the brainiacs who came up with that sign are the same ones who made this you tube video.



You really have to watch it. I want to blog about the insanity, but that would ruin the surprise.

No wonder I have a problem with organized religion.

Bath time!

Tonight both Noah and Dodi (the dog) had a bath. Noah was first. After he got out and Daddy Stan was helping him put on his PJ's I drained it a bit and threw the dog in. I felt like Laura Ingalls Wilder, reusing the bathwater just like they did in the old days.

Then I trimmed their nails. I think that's enough accomplishments for today, don't you?

The Answer To All Your Questions

Is it still tasty?

For a girl who is squeamish when it comes to leftovers, this page is very helpful.

Tattoo Ideas

For our 10th anniversary, I am getting a tattoo of sweet pea flowers on my upper left arm. Today, I found a gorgeous tattoo I am going to base the style on.

The description of the photo said: "Sexy girl neck with permanent Flower Art Tattoo Design, so nice and sexy." Seriously, people? I'm pretty sure this is a dude.

Lazy much?

On Monday I fell asleep fully clothed while putting Noah to bed. I didn't bother changing clothes to bring him to school, went back to bed in them and wore them the rest of the day until I hit the gym at 5 PM.

Today I am bringing Noah to school in my pajamas and plan to go straight back to bed.

I think my laziness is deteriorating.

I can't believe I had to put the sign up already.

NO SOLICITING!

If you are under 12 and raising money for cub scouts, school, etc. ring that bell!

Otherwise . . .

We don't want to sign your petition, give money to your cause or join your religion/cult.

If you're selling it, we don't want it.

If you let my dog out, you must chase it, catch it, and bring it back.

F My Life

Best website ever.

Here are some good snippets:

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we proceeded to have sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell your faking."

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth

Today, I was trying to register for a porn site. I secretly took my father's credit card, but all I got back was a "this credit card is already in use."

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper.

OMG Girl Porn

Paul's girlfriend is HOT.

LOL Cat FAIL

Shake it up.

A client of mine said her and her hubby were shaking up their life - - - by brushing their teeth with the non-dominant hand every day for 30 days.

This is supposed to build new neuron pathways, or somehow screw with their brain in a good way.

It sounded like fun (and a little lame, I mean, this is what you do to shake up your life?) so I told her I would try it.

Today is day one. If you find me curled up on the bathroom floor gripping a toothbrush with my cold, dead hand, you will know my little brain simply couldn't handle it.

What a man, what a man, what a mighty good man.

Best quote of the day from the annoying woman I volunteered at Noah's school with:

"My husband is known for his balloon animals."

Indeed.

Go, girl!!! Stop take life sitting down!!

Okay, so what's a go-girl?

Simply put, GoGirl is the way to stand up to crowded, disgusting, distant or non-existent bathrooms. It’s a female urination device (sometimes called a FUD) that allows you to urinate while standing up. It’s neat. It’s discreet. It’s hygienic.

GoGirl is easy to use. Just lower your panties, and put GoGirl against your body, forming a seal. Aim and, well, pee. Pretty simple, huh?

(This is my favorite line!!!) You won’t be like a man. You’ll just pee like one.

Quiz addict

I quizzed myself out today. I am done. For now.

Some of you may know that I don't particularly like my name and have wanted a good nickname for years.

It has never happened.

Tonight, while bored and caught wasting time on stupid quizzes, I took the nickname generator. It came up with "Tom" even though I put in that I was a female.

Burned, yet again.

I think I am officially done looking for a nickname.

Couples Quiz

I could just use Facebook fodder forever. Whee!!

What are your middle names?

Michelle and Wayne.

How long have you been together?

11 years.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?

Met when I was 17. Started dating when I was 24.

Who asked whom out?

Stan asked me out. I had been waiting for this day for 7 years, he almost asked me out 3 years earlier, but thought I was telling him to back off.

How old are each of you?

35 and 39.

Whose siblings do you see the most?

Mine. We see Nemy and Boot at least 1-2 a month.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?

The most we have had to deal with is crap from my side of the family. However, now we only talk to people who aren't certifiably insane, which makes life roses and candy.

Did you go to the same school?

The same college, yes, but not at the same time.

Are you from the same home town?

No, but we are both from the Twin Cities Metro Area, although Stan was conceived in CA.

Who is smarter?

We are both smart in different ways. I would say it's a tie.

Who is the most sensitive?

Hmm. . . I think we both are.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?


We like going to new places.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?

San Francisco.

Who has the craziest exes?

Me, because I once dated Jesse. Shout out the the Jesse!!! Seriously though, I didn't acquire standards for a loooong time.

Who has the worst temper?

Mine is quick to fire, Stan's simmers strong and deep.

Who does the cooking?

Me. Stan heats frozen things.

Who is the neat-freak?

We are more of a messy family. Although I do have my cleaning binges.

Who is more stubborn?

We are both stubborn, so, very, stubborn.

Who hogs the bed?


I do.

Who wakes up earlier?

Stan does. I believe this is the key to a great marriage: have a spouse that likes getting up early to tend to the kid and doesn't mind if you sleep in. This is heaven, people.

Where was your first date?


Crema Cafe in Uptown.

Who is more jealous?

Neither. We really trust each other and have no reason to be.

How long did it take to get serious?


Stan told me he loved me on the second date. He had never said this to a girl before. So the answer: 3 days.

Who eats more?


Me.

Who does the laundry?

Stan does more laundry. We both suck at putting it away. We've sometimes lost Noah in the pile of clean laundry that lives in the basement. That reminds me, where is the dog?

Who’s better with the computer?


STAN.

Who drives when you are together?

Me. I like being in control and Stan doesn't care one way or the other. It's amazing how many people we know think it's weird that the man in the relationship doesn't drive.

Lisa likes to

Top 10 results on Google (and I don't have to make an original post - genius!)

1. Lisa likes to boogie late into the night.
2. Lisa likes to watch movies.
3. Lisa likes to BOFF (stands for Babelgum Online Film Festival)
4. (As) Lisa likes to say . . . "with us, you get 2 agents looking out for your interests for the price of 1"!
   
5. Lisa likes to chase squirrels.
6. Lisa likes to go with the flow.
7. Lisa likes to make decisions.
8. Lisa likes to travel (and animals).
9. Lisa likes to go hiking in the woods.
10. (Mona) Lisa likes to kill.
    

Glasses: The Reveal

Noah pondering a deeply scientific matter.

Noah doing the new glasses dance.

A New President's Day Ritual

Noah was playing with the neighbors and broke his super cool, always getting the compliments, Converse glasses.

I guess slipping on ice and sacrificing blood and skin particles to concrete is the kid's new way of saying, "Happy President's Day!"

After his parent's similar sacrifice of $180 new glasses made it all better.

Noah picked them out because they look like glasses a scientist would wear. He's kind of right (see example below).



Also, he thought all of the other glasses: looked the same, were lame or girly.

In lieu of a picture of Noah, who is sleeping, here is a picture of what the glasses mostly look like:



It will take some getting used to. I will also have to keep myself from calling him "Harry" or "Thomas Dolby."

Love, love, love, love love. . .

Happy Valentines Day to my reader(s)!



Who knew!?! It's almost as annoying as Twilight!



Although this is what I really wanted to say:

CONGRATULATIONS!

Our records show that your account is paid in full as of 02-04-2009.

We appreciate having been able to serve you (for the past 14 years) and hope that your educational experience has been a good one.

Borrower Services Department
a.k.a. Student Loan Goons.

Only took 14 years to pay off 30 grand. Good thing I paid for massage school (10K) out of pocket!

P.S. Guess which degree is paying off more?

(hint)

Okay, I lied

I didn't go to the gym. Stan was home sick so I stayed home to comfort/take a nap with him.

Good thing I didn't push it and go. Turns out I have a killer case of shin splints on my right ankle. Half the time I step down it feels as if someone is jamming a dull knife in my ankle. I was going to work through the pain, but that would only make it worse, although it sounds heroic.

This is what I get for exercising! Who knew it could be fraught with so much peril?

I just want to curl up with some cider, an ice pack, and a good book.

Ow

My ankle hurts. Stairs hurt like a MF.

It hurt last night - but I still worked out for an hour.

It hurts this morning - but I am still going to the gym this morning.

The gym didn't make it worse, so as long as I keep it mobile and supported, I think it will be okay.

Besides, I don't want to stop. I always stop after a week or two at the gym and lose all momentum.

My momentum is not going anywhere! Except, forward I guess.

I'm an aunt (again)!

Evelyn Faith Eller was born via C-section 2/10th 2009 at 10:24am. She is 7.3 pounds 19 1/2 inches long. Congratulations Courtney and Dave (Uncle Dude)!!!

All I Can Say Is: "Wow"

T-shirt shopping anyone?

Now I think I might have Aspergers

Not really, I only scored 11 out of 50 on the Austism spectrum, but I do have some traits (I know, don't we all).

1. I fidget a lot. Moving my foot back and forth is a constant habit when my legs are crossed.
2. I get completely absorbed in what I am doing and find it difficult and annoying to stop. Mostly this happens when I am reading or watching TV.
   
3. When watching TV my head will tilt to the right and then move slightly forward. I am now locked in and hard to distract - even from lame commercials.
4. It has taken me a long time to learn that everyone feels like me: an outsider with low self-esteem. Sometimes though, I still feel as if I am on the fringe of life, watching others live and interact with seamless ease.
5. I sometimes have trouble with my expressions. There are times I know I should look sad, interested, etc. but my brain is having trouble getting the message to my muscles. I remember my parent's neighbor yelling at me when she reported a break in at their home. I was simply thinking, "Put on your 'everything is fine at our crazy house' facade" but she thought I was amused at their bad fortune. I do have to admit that sometimes it's just hard to hide the scorn I sometimes feel for people. Faking it is hard.

I just finished the book "Look Me In The Eye: My Life With Asperger's" by John Robinson. It is a good book, so I would highly recommend reading it. His brother is Augsten Burroughs, and if you haven't read any of his books, you are missing out my friend.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled blogging.

This is why you're so fat.

A lot of bacon, not enough butter and salt.

We got it.

Yes, the mouse is dead. It went back upstairs to it's hidey hole in the eves and met it's fate at the hand of an old school trap with organic peanut butter as bait.

Whew. No more worries about a mouse crawling into bed with us at night or somehow getting up my pant leg. Ick.

Renee is still here. Yesterday was lunch with Stan at Bryant Lake Bowl. Then Renee was off to spend the rest of the afternoon/evening with Marsha and assorted Walker family members.

Today we had brunch at Wilde Roast Cafe, which was fabulous as always, and hit the local thrift store, Rewind, before we head back home to regroup.

Only 2 days left. Soon she will be dropping me off at work and taking Noah to the Children's Museum. It's play time for them and work time for me. Boo for me.

Proof of Renee's Visit

Today was IKEA (a first for Renee).

Marsha (Nemy) and Renee at IKEA.

Then we made a visit to Jimmy John's (which Renee desperately misses) and we were supposed to end the evening at the Kitty Cat Club (that we went to twice on Renee's last visit three years ago).

But first, some images from the Clown Lodge. Seriously, it sucks to say that, it will always be the Clown Lounge to me.

Renee with some Midwestern beer.

I wanted a picture next to the Puma. Renee was sad that someone killed it just for decor.


I wanted her to pet the squirrel. She was sad someone killed it just for stuffing purposes. So I did it for her. I think they are rats with legs. Flea ridden vermin. Seriously.

Although the best part of the decor was this:


it doesn't look like a skunk, but I wish it was.

Anyhow, Nemy is sick with chills and a fever so we are skipping the show at The Kitty Cat Club. Instead we are staying here and drinking Pinot Grigio from the box.

At IKEA, we bought a mattress for Noah's room. When we got home I ran upstairs to get the missing parts from his bunk bed so he and Renee could sleep on it tonight (he had been sleeping on an air matress while she slept in his bed). When I was making a trip from his room to the upstairs bedroom I saw a mouse. A mother fucking tiny piece of vermin in my house.

While I was trying to remember to breathe, Stan came home. We quickly went out to buy mouse traps (covered for the main floor uncovered for the upstairs in case it came from the storage spot in the eves). Holy shit, but I can't stand vermin. They creep me out just like spiders. I even like snakes better.

I hope we get the fucker tonight. It would make me feel much, much better.

More updates on the amazing visit of Renee later. I gotta go set up the last of the traps.

Stop. Sister Time.

Renee has been here for three days.

Day one was Sam's high school hockey game followed by Davanni's pizza, Summit Maibock and karaoke in the basement.

Day two was a get together at T and Kari's party room in St. Paul. The night ended playing gin rummy with Sarah in front of the fireplace at Britt's Pub. We closed the place out and took a taxi home.

Day three contained eating at The Bad Waitress, shopping at Electric Fetus, watching Noah in karate class, steaming at the gym and eating dinner at Pop! so Renee could have some good ol' lake fish (walleye). As I type, Renee is putting Noah to bed. Boot and Nemy are picking us up at 10 P.M. to hit The Clown Lounge for more drinking and some live music.

So far, so good.

Bacon man

Just imagine making a giant bacon man at Burning Man. The smell would be delicious.

Anyhow, here's a bacon man.

25 things about me - by request, for Jesse

1. I went to college a year early.
2. I read a book a week.
3. I spend at least 30 minutes on the internet a day.
4. I don't like sauerkraut.
5. My feet are size 10.
6. I don't talk to my parents.
7. My favorite color is violet.
8. I was a vegetarian for 3 years.
9. I love the call of a loon.
   
10. I use more than the recommended daily allowance of salt.
11. The only other country I have been in was Canada.
12. I have never drank from a beer bong.
13. My first job was working at Davanni's in Bloomington, MN
14. Blueberries are tasty.
15. I would like to live by water.
16. My husband wants to start a commune.
17. I don't particularly like spiders, but snakes are okay.
18. I have 3 tattoos and want 3 more, maybe 4.
19. We have more pictures of Noah with the Easter Bunny than with Santa Claus.
20. Tubing is fun: in both summer and winter.
21. I like reading gossip mags.
22. I need a better phone so I can text more. Can we also say, "Twitter?"
23. I don't drink beverages, I chug them.
24. My best friend and litter sister both live very far away.
25. My co-workers (nail techs) do not allow me to cut my own toe nails. They're probably right. It's not a pretty sight.
    

I want to sleep.

Morning came too early. Noah woke me up at 8 AM when Daddy was leaving for work. I got approximately 9 hours of sleep, but this darn cold made me feel like I got half of that.

So I am up. I got the kid ready, dropped him off at school, cleaned up a bit and will soon be off to the gym. I am forcing myself to go even though all I really want to do is sleep.

Grandma Nancy is picking Noah up after school, meaning I have to clean the basement before I leave for work. It is the boy's hangout place as well as where piles of clean laundry live. Yes, I know, the two really don't go well together, but it's just what happens. Putting away laundry is not our favorite thing to do.

So, where was I? Oh yeah, after the gym is: lunch with Noah at school, an hour more of cleaning at home and then 4 massages from 3-8 at work. After that, sleep, glorious sleep. How I long for your cuddly, warm embrace!

Renee will be here on Saturday for a week. Want to say hello? Meet us this Sunday, 1PM, in Saint Paul at 740 Mississippi River Blvd. in the grand old party room. Look up Thomas Walker on the directory and we will get you in. Appetizers and drinks will be had by all, and yes, there will be alcohol. Call my cell at 612-239-8104 if you have any questions, or need directions.

Lisa got a new haircut

Take away 5 inches and this is what you get!


It still has a bit of the blond highlights that were hidden in my long hair. I won't be able to get it colored for a couple weeks.


Yea, yea, yea. Change is good.

Tuesday, January 27th, 2009: Noah becomes a Vegetarian - for two seconds.

Tonight's bedtime conversation:

Mom, I don't eat animals.
Ah, yes you do.
What? Name one.
Chicken. It comes from a chicken. You eat it.
Really? Okay then, I want to be a vegetarian. I don't want to eat animals.
Okay. Noah?
Yeah?
Do you know where bacon comes from?
No.
It comes from a pig.
Oh. I guess I don't want to be a vegetarian.

Then later:
Noah, do you know where hot dogs come from? They come from a cow.
Yeah, Mom, I know, it's the udders!

Noah is rockstar.

My day: Gym and a Company meeting

Gym didn't happen yesterday. They didn't get our voice mail about reservations so we were out of the booked spin class. So I went this morning. Take that, jiggly body!

I and some of the peeps from work went to Benihana's for lunch before the meeting. Mmmm. . . dinner and a show, all at lunch special prices!

Then came the 5 hour company meeting. One of my co-workers came dressed as Princess Leia. Seriously. Everyone else was dressed up and she wore her Halloween costume. Amazing.

This was the inspirational video they showed after they announced all the cuts they would be making. I will let you draw you own conclusions as to the message.



Now it is just me, my family and a nice, authentic English cider with a dry and refreshing finish.

I heart Danielle

I just wish I could sing as well. Oh, and play an instrument.

I think I may have to buy me some of her music.

Sick. . . again. Dammit.

Sore throat. Damn. This really hurts. Could I have strep?
No, slime is being produced in sinuses. Must be the infecting agent of poor little throat.
Ach! Headache. Damn you, cold!!

I am still going to drink (weak) coffee this morning. Most importantly, I am still going to my spin class at 3PM with Sarah, Stan and Lori. Afterward, I am hoping (no, commanding! please?) the steam room to cure me.

Choices . . .

Noah seemed okay most of the day yesterday. Come afternoon, his contained energy was causing him to bounce off the walls. So I risked a vomit repeat and brought him to karate. I sat in on the class, just in case, and the kid was fine.

The novelty of karate has worn off and Noah now realizes that it's a lot of work. He doesn't want to take karate anymore. However, he is six and doesn't get to make that call. He needs to learn commitment and he needs to exercise. I like the physical and mental lessons taught in karate and I am the one who gets to make the choice. I think it's good for him and an hour and a half of lessons a week is not a lot to ask of a kid who mostly gets to play, watch TV and choose from not one, but two gaming systems (besides the internets).

Now I need to treat myself with that same discipline. Last night, after dinner, I asked Sarah if we were still going to the gym. She replied, "I don't think we have a choice." That hit home with me big time. I still act like I have the choice to skip a day at the gym here or there. I don't. I HAVE TO GO. I believe this mantra will help me stay committed to going to the gym and eating better.

Sarah and I have a pact and we're keeping each other accountable. Thank you Sarah, for helping give me the push and companionship I need to get myself in shape!

LOST

Today is the day my friends. I expected to be more excited, but maybe I just need another jolt of a LOST episode to get back into it. Next episode I will be watching it with Renee (here from Hawaii, where they not only film the show, but she's seen almost every cast member) at Reade and John's house on the flat screen with surround sound. Now that I am excited for.

This morning Noah threw up in my hand on the way to school. I thought he just had gum in his mouth he wanted to spit out, but nooooo . . . when I reached my hand out I got a big surprise. Needless to say, we turned around and went home. After cleaning up, he was on the couch and I started in on my long list of cleaning chores.

I suspect he somehow managed to vomit just enough to keep him home from school and karate class, because he's been fine all day. I still am tempted to make him go to karate, but am afraid he has a little vomit supply left, just in case.

Sarah will be here at 5:30 with dinner. Then we will be off to the gym and eventually back here for LOST and Top Chef. A nice evening reward for a long day of work!

3 Books I Would Leave Out When The In-Laws Are Visiting

That is . . . if I owned them (ahem).

1. Make Your Own Sex Toys

It even has some crochet patterns in it!


2. Intimate Invasions: the erotic ins and outs of enema play

I guess poop can be sexy?
3. (last, but not least) A Hand in the Bush: The Fine Art of Vaginal Fisting

It's been approved by three fisting-positive physicians! (I wonder if they had to tell all of their sexual partners they tested positive for fisting?)


I am amused and queasy, both at the same time. Oddly enough, all three books got 4 1/2 stars on Amazon.

Two things that should not be in the same sentence:

"-25 degrees" and "sunny." Sun implies warmth and there is no warmth to be found in this state. Not now. Not for awhile.

A California transplant said that all Minnesotans bitch about the winter but will never move. For the most part this is true. We like to complain and winter sure fits that bill to a T. Also, we don't do change well. We come from generations of farmers who were born and died doing the same thing, living in the same place. So, like those before us, we get together for coffee, or beer, depending on the time of day, complain about the weather, and know deep in our heart of hearts we're going to do nothing about it.

I think we might be different though. Once we can get out of this house without losing money, I can see us moving somewhere where the thermometer never dips below zero. I don't know if it will be California, but the South is calling, hell, this time of year, it's screaming our name.

Wow! My 500th Post!

Maybe I should make a cake.

Or not.

Anyhow, I was motivated to post about Noah. I had once pondered on this blog whether the dog or Noah would be completely potty trained, 24/7 first. Since I don't trust the dog never to have another accident in the house, I have to name Noah the winner.

He does pretty well during the day. I know, he's six, you say, he should have this down by now. If he was the typical six year old he probably would. However, he inherited my thimble sized bladder and an inability to tear himself away from what he is doing. Put those together and you get accidents every blue moon. He can stay dry if he wants to, but sometimes he just forgets he can't "hold it" until his mind is ready to stop what it is doing and listen to his body. His stubbornness surpasses all bounds. Really, it does.

And, yes, I have talked to his doctor about this numerous times over the years. He says Noah is fine, no medical intervention is necessary and that some kids don't have full bladder maturity until as late as 8 years old. So no worries in the medical arena.

So the day is pretty much A-ok. The night we had problems with. Mostly because getting up every few hours to take him to the bathroom was not happening. Mommy needs her sleep people. So we used pull-ups and Noah hated them. I finally gave in on Sunday night, cursing myself for letting him rip all his pull-ups into little cotton piles through my stuffy nose, knowing that I would get little sleep in my sickly state. But, he was done. He was ready. I had to step up.

First night we had three accidents. Each time we changed him, his sheets and were kind. "It's okay, it's just the first night, you will get this!" we said. After that . . . nothing. He got it. We get him up 2-3 times a night and sometimes he gets up on his own. It was that easy.

I am officially done with diapers, pull-ups and all related paraphernalia.

Thank God.

I love a good deal

Originally, I had thought I wanted motorcycle boots. I saw these on-line for $75, marked down from $200. Then they arrived and I was mistaken. I did not want motorcycle boots. They were not me and were not comfortable to walk in.

So I went to the mall. I wanted brown boots and I wanted them now. I ran through a few stores and finally went back to Journeys and bought these on sale for $30 marked down from $50.However, when they rung them up, they came up as $10. That's right, TEN DOLLARS. Holy crap, but this is one of the best shopping trips I ever had. Definitely better than the time I bought an $80 swimsuit and forgot it. Much better than that.

2009 Woot!!!

The holidays. They are over. I am so looking forward to life going back to normal on Monday. A Monday where Noah will go to school, Stan will go to work and I get to stay home - by myself. Ahhh. . . .

Our holidays were good. Xmas Eve was spent at Reade and John's where 50% got schnockered and the other half spent the evening smirking at the inebriated few. Xmas Day we went to Stan's folks - the home of terrible food but drinkable coffee. Stan indulged in the pumpkin spice coffee creamer. Even writing that description almost made me barf. Coffee and flavorings do not mix. Blech.

We got two days off in a row as a family around the New Year. Most of it was spent in pajamas in front of DVDs or the Wii. We rang in the New Year in STYLE, yo.

I have three resolutions this year:

1. Be kind to myself. No more calling names or swearing to self in head.
2. Follow through. This mostly applies to the gym, but still.
3. Mix it up. Life, after all, is for the living, which I am lucky enough to still be.