I knew the previous post would have reprocussions.

Because now, I has snow.

Itz Spring!

These carpets are clean!!!

I have achieved step one in the dog house training process: clean all odors and stains from carpet.

There are some great recommendations on line. I used a mixture of dish detergent, hydrogen peroxide and baking soda. 416 ounces of hydrogen peroxide took care of my large upstairs bedroom. Yes, I know. That is so not good, it is actually BAD.

Next up is dealing with the puppers. Stuff like walking her daily, letting her out consistently, blah, blah, blah.

Wish us luck!

Ooh! I remember what I was going to say!

I have changed my favorite swearword. It is now "shitballs."

You may now go back to your regularly scheduled life.

Also: shitballs!

Things I realized

1. I don't look good in red.
2. Gay men can have anal sex face to face. I don't know why I thought they were only able to do it doggy style. Thanks for the visual, book.
3. You should never move a half-full fish tank. They are sedentary items.
4. Time does not make annoying people any less annoying.
5. Religious expert believes the resurrection was metaphorical. Damn interesting.
   

I swear there was more, but once I am out of the cave of a massage room, I tend to forget the epiphanies I had in the quiet solitude of rubbing a naked person's ass.

On that note, happy Easter!

Books I read in February

The count is at lucky #13 as of February 29th

1. Cesar's Way by Cesar Millan
2. Turtle Moon by Alice Hoffman
3. The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella
4. Mister B. Gone by Clive Barker
5. The Winter of the World by Carol Ann Lee
6. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

March has 8 books logged already. I'm enjoying the reading, as well as the list making. Who knew keeping track of what you've read could be so enjoyable?

San Francisco, here we come!

In 2000, Stan got laid off a week before our first family vacation in Austin, Texas. The whole time he worried about money and was horribly depressed. Since then, the only trips we have undertaken are weekend camping and bed and breakfast getaways.

This year, though, we are off to San Francisco! I am looking forward to spending time with my boys as we experience the city and kick back for a few days. We will be there solo for four days and then Stan's mom and sister are joining us for the last four days of the trip. We will be visiting relatives in Santa Rosa and also hope to see some of the sites: Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz, Fisherman's Wharf and Chinatown as well as hit wine country and view some of the beautiful redwood forests.

It will be most awesome.

Any insider tips would be great! I'll even send you a postcard!

I got my first snarky blog comment!

I always wondered what I would feel like if I got smack comments on my blog. I didn't think it would happen, since only like three people read it and I know all of them. But, lo and behold, I got one!

Boy. I knew you were fairly egocentric - but didn't really get it until I read through a few of your blogs. Perhaps you might give a little thought to the idea that you are not the only one in your universe...there are others around you at home and at work.

Oh, I am chastised. My head, she is hanging low. Just kidding, I am amused. Obviously, someone doesn't like me. Boo-hoo! Someone is telling me that my blog, which is about me, is egocentric. At least they got the point. It's all about me, because it's my blog.

Next up in Lisa's blog: It's all Lisa, all the time!!!
Lisa's underwear drawer: updates for spring!
The latest drama as Lisa removes the dog pee smell from our carpet!
Lisa's continuing obsession with waxing.
Lisa's toe nail polish choices: should she go sheer or bold for vacation?
A hidden secret: Lisa and her struggles with going to the gym more than once a week. Possible intervention episode.
Keep coming back for your daily dose of LISA!!!

A little respite. Maybe.

Things at work are in flux. There is a possibility that my schedule may change. I am hoping to get one more night off to be home with the boys.

Also, I just put in a vacation request for our family San Francisco trip the first week of May. Keep your fingers crossed!!!

Reese, you dirty slut.

The pose makes me think something naughty is going on. When I read the caption, I was all, "Yeah, whatever!!!"

Here it is:
Reese Witherspoon models an Avon Empowerment Bracelet from a special seat – her own spot at the United Nations – during a news conference Tuesday to announce a partnership between Avon and the United Nations Development Fund for Women. "I think it is so important to make our daughters and our sisters and everyone whose lives we affect be aware that there are so many women without rights in this world," Witherspoon told PEOPLE at the event.

Seriously, I think she was telling us all to "Suck it!" and implying what whores and cheap ass product pushers Avon is. Besides, who stumps products at the UN? Avon is doing this for money and publicity. Hmm. . . maybe the gesture was for them. . .

Do not fuck with The Lisa

Last week I attempted to grab a piece of pizza from the dog and got bit. It punctured the skin a little, but didn't bleed. I kept up the good fight, not backing down, channeling the alpha, and won. I do love Davanni's pizza, but not enough to eat it after it's been in anyone else's mouth.

Anyhow, after that I have been ignoring the dog, giving her stern commands and basically putting her in her place. A few short moments ago I heard her chewing on something. A repeat performance, I went to her kennel and saw her chewing on aluminum foil. I told her, "No, drop it." in a calm deep voice and she immediately ran out of the kennel, leaving her treat behind for me to pick up.

Damn straight. I am bad ass.

Although I might need to tone it down a bit. Yesterday morning Noah said, "You get near my pancakes and I'm going to stick a fork in your neck." Ahh, Nickelodeon programing, with your pregnant teens and violent dialogue. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy that I am paying extra to give him such wholesome programming.