Happy Halloween!

The Bastard Child of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Rolos

Lisa Tranquilizers

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are my favorite candy. I love the salty peanut butter. For me, the chocolate is a bonus, although I don't usually don't care about eating the edges. I'll do it, but it's not really worth the calorie hit.

Second is any chocolate that has caramel in it.

Today I saw the perfect, absolute best candy ever: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups with Caramel. AMAZING. The caramel makes it very sweet, but my brain kept registering caramel, then peanut butter than back to caramel again, and again, and again. WOW. The best part was that the edges of the cup had caramel hidden way back to the edge of the chocolate so eating the edges of the cup was not even a question.

This candy is absurdly packed with all that makes me happy. Like Ace Pear Cider, it joins the ranks of magical food items that soothes the savage Lisa beast within. If Stan is smart, he will sock some of these babies away for when I get bitchy.

Creepy Breastfeeding Logos

Mothering Magazine had a breastfeeding logo contest. Needless to say, it totally creeped me out.

Jesse is the best girlfriend ever! Squeal!!!

The trailer for LOST next week showed a clip of a man wearing a patch. A new character said, "Who the hell is that?" which was what we were all thinking about her.

My first thought was, "It's Patch! From Days of Our Lives!" What a crossover! Stan had no idea what I was talking about, but Jesse knew who he was. Bo's brother and rival whose eye he stabbed out sometime in the 80's. I was so excited that one of the guys actually knew who I was talking about that I felt like a giggly teenager all over again.

I just found out that he is back on the show. What are the odds? If only Days was on ABC I would totally believe it was a plug placed on LOST. Man, if it was true, it would have been the awesome.

My eye and I are back in Salem.

The Spiritual Education of Noah: Part One.

"Mom, who lives in that castle?"

"That's not a castle Noah, that's a church."

"Who lives in the church?"

"No one lives there. That's where people go to worship God."

"What's God?"

"He's the magical being that created the entire universe and is constantly watching us and taking care of us."

"Oh."

Let me tell you, so far the kid is not that impressed.

The "Amazing" Zurah Shrine Circus

Our neighbor gave us discount tickets to the circus. We upgraded to closer seats and paid $26 for the three of us. The acts we really liked were the ones that took real talent: the juggling, the tight rope walkers, the 5 motorcyclists in a metal ball, etc. The animal acts were mostly just sad. However, Noah saw pepole riding the elephant and just HAD TO RIDE IT! Here we are on one of the biggest land mammals alive today:

Momma and Noah on Ellie.

Our favorite act of all was the stunt man being shot out of a cannon. It lasted not even 5 seconds, but it was amazingly cool to see a guy hurtling across the Target Center.

For those of you who know my opinion of clowns, I will let you know that they were so lame they weren't even close to being scary.

In the future, I think we will be going to people only circuses. There are many professional shows out there to check out. And there are some great family shows coming up in the cities. Free even! I hate the cold weather of MN, but it is a great city to raise a family in.

Masturbate for Peace

It's the least you can do.

Stayed up late dreaming of owning the fecal matter of your favorite celebrity? Well, now your dreams can come true!

Just visit this site and the bacteria, skin flakes and fecal matter can be yours for the price!

I don't know about you, but I know what I'm getting Stan for his birthday.

Jeff Bridges "The Dude" - Skin cells $10.95, Bacteria $6.75.

Mmmm. . . beefy.

I was a vegetarian for 3 1/2 years and then went back to eating meat. Stan eats meat, but not mammals. Jesse is allergic to fish. So I can make chicken or turkey for dinner. I know that they make turkey/chicken/vegetarian everything now days, but it's not the same. It's good, but doesn't even come close to measuring up to real pork or beef.

Tomorrow we are having people over to hang out so I seized the opportunity to make beef stew for the first time in about 12 years. The amazing smell is permeating the house and I am so happy. It's one of my favorite meals not only to eat, but to make. When I was a kid, I would fry the beef cubes in Crisco and use a McCormick's Seasoning Packet. But now, I have matured. This stew is 100% homemade, I used olive oil, real herbs and spices, and IT TASTES AMAZING.

It will be served along side vegetarian chili, baked brie with apple and pear in a filio crust and lots of different kinds of bread. There will be apple pie and ice cream for dessert and plenty of drinks (alcoholic and non).

So come on over already. We have plenty for everyone!

Snow

I mean, I did have snow. No accumulation, but it was snowing and it is super cold.

Baby Toupee

No more being ashamed of your bald headed youngster.

Crazy Science

Women who are born in May or December live an average of three years longer than women born in the same year, different month.

Seems my parent's did one thing right.

Time to Revive the Slang of the 20's

Here are my favorites:

Cheaters
Eyeglasses

Dead soldier
An empty beer bottle

Giggle Water
An intoxicating beverage; alcohol

Handcuff
An engagement ring

Spifflicated
Drunk. The same as canned, corked, tanked, primed, scrooched, jazzed, zozzled, plastered, owled, embalmed, lit, potted, ossified or fried to the hat.

Stay at home mom - slash- belly dancer

Who knew that Barney's penis was a belly dancer?

Tonight I started my belly dancing class. Wow. It is amazingly hard to do such precise, specific movements without moving your whole body. The vibe was cool and the people were fun. I'm really glad I decided to do it.

Wenda has an appointment to interview a new daycare provider on Monday, so Avery might not be here for much longer. It will be a relief to not be doing so much daycare and cutting out the "mom" mode of life out a little bit more.

I have lost myself in taking care of kids and am reclaiming parts of my life. It's awesome. It's also scary. I feel that I should be doing any extra work I can when I am at home and giving up any small part of that makes me feel guilty (Oh, I am so Norwegian!).

So if anyone needs a massage, give me a freaking call already. I need to keep up the massage momentum and keep my home practice booked out!

How Embarrassing

Fodder. Well, well. You scored a whopping 188 points.

Congrats, you stupid bastard. You're zombie fodder, future flesh to be eaten by hordes of the undead. You're a danger to other survivors, and usually you're whiny. Buck up, though. Most people fall into this category, so you're pretty normal. If you're into that sort of thing.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on ZombiePoints

Link: The Zombie Awareness Test written by johndoe137 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

No, wait! This is Jesse. Not just on Halloween though, this is any given day (he wishes).

I think I found Jesse's Halloween Costume

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