Hit Me Baby, One More Time

The Engagement Party Saturday night was a roaring success. There was lots of wine, lots of Summit beer, and a new drink (I forget what they called it) where they mixed champagne with passion fruit juice. A little too sweet for me, but still very good. The drink of the night however, was good ol' gin and tonics. Angie was nominated as the bartender and made an awfully strong (meaning kick-ass) G&T. Boot broke out the humidor and there was drinking and smoking until the wee hours of the morning.

I don't even remember the last time I had an "adult" party. This one wasn't as loud or as wild as my old Dinkytown parties, but it was still fun. We put the boy to bed at 11PM and stayed up with the gang on the deck. Candles, glow drink sticks and glowing cigars our only light. It was a great warm-up for the wedding reception.

And then this was waiting for us on the deck in the morning. Damn, I hate it when guests plug your toilet.

We Partied Till The Break of Dawn

Noah's B-day party was a success. He had a great time playing, eating, opening presents and blowing out the candles on his cake. This kid LOVES to blow out candles. It's hard to keep candles lit around this place. Noah walks around blowing them out like a little Fire Marshall. It seems the firestarter gene has skipped a generation.

His two best friends were there


and his cousin (lower left)


Fun was had by all. It was a great warmup for the adult party coming up this Saturday. The fun never ends at the Keathly casa!


Happy Birthday Little Man!

Today is Noah's Third Birthday. Here are some pics of him growing up.

One day old:


Noah's First Birthday:


Noah's Second Birthday:


Noah - Almost Three!


He Calls Me "Squidward"

I call him "SpongeBob."

Why is it that out of all the SpongeBob SquarePants characters, I get dubbed Squidward? I'm not really envious of Stan's being Patrick. But Jeppa's Mr. Crab title is a bit more fun. I just want to know, "Why not Sandy? Or Pearl? Or Plankton. That would be fun. Why a whiny, slimy squid? Why, oh, why!?!"

I know I'm probably taking this way too personally, like MANY other things I overreact to. But you have to wonder if he really sees me as this type of mom:



Hopefully, it's more like this:





It's A Hard Knock Life For Us

Noah has been PUSHING US lately. Pulling LONG, DRAWN OUT TANTRUMS at least ONCE A DAY. This kid, he is STUBBORN as well as FOCUSED. I daresay that he might win. The odds are certainly in his favor.

But his mom is a tough bitch. Really, I am. And he has naively assumed that he can take me in a fair fight. Well, I don't fight fair and I believe (also naively) that I can beat anyone if I put my mind to it (this thought is especially strong when I'm drunk). And he's made me angry. He does not realize that I am not one to be crossed.

This parenting thing is HARD. And I am so damn TIRED. Tired of fighting, tired of making my kid cry, tired of having to break his spirit so he knows he has boundaries, and where the boundaries are at.

Thank God for good hubbies, understanding friends, amusing cross stitch patterns and wine.

Why I'm Really a Republican

Today I'm stealing a blog entry from Mimi in NY. I'm not really a Republican, and neither is she, but I agree with her entry. We need to add our brains to their actions. Then we might actually win an election and not have it stolen from us.

Oh, I should probably tell you that Mimi is a British writer. Who just happens to be working as a stripper in NY. Some of her entries can be entertaining, to say the least. So there. You've been warned. Enjoy!

Here it is:

"I'm little Miss Left Wing in all things political. My poor parents tried hard to instill in me a hatred of asylum seekers, immigrants and Arabs, and my A-Level politics teacher likened my debating skills to Maggie Thatcher, but still I turned out to be a Liberal who adores tormenting Conservatives.

But when it comes down to it, I guess I'm really a Republican.

Liberals today faff around, argue, forget their point, get lost in philosophical debate, become too passionate and achieve - nothing. Republicans, lacking the brain cells for extended argument, hone straight for their goal, steaming through like a bulldozer to reach their ultimate aim, figuring out the negative repercussions only after the event. Two words to prove this. 'Iraq'.'Filibuster'.

I can't help thinking, if I was a real Liberal, I would have stayed in a country I hated doing a job I disliked and fucking around with all the red tape of immigration, so that by the time I ended up here, I would have had tits by my ankles and be permanently tripping off HRT, or worse, never made it at all.

Instead I tried the legal route, then tested the semi-legal options, and then went 'fuck it' and stormed right on in with the attack. Bush would have been proud.

Maybe more Liberals need to start acting like Republicans. After all, it worked for Clinton, and it's not doing old Tony any harm back in the UK."

Buy These for Me. Please

Penny Arcade kicks ass. And they have some great T-shirts that you should buy. For me. Size Large.





Thanks.


People Against Breastfeeding

My friend sent me this article in the NY Times about mothers striking back when they receive complaints about breastfeeding in public. It just amazes me how uptight Americans are. And the fact that a sexy woman in a low cut shirt would get oogled, but if she nursed her child in public, she'd get ridiculed.

It's time to change our attitudes about breastfeeding. A mother who needs to feed her child in public should not be sent to a stinky, germ infested bathroom. As long as she is being discreet, she should be comfortable to meet her child's needs and nurse him/her no matter where she is.

Two people in the article complained about people nursing on planes. This is recommended to keep the baby's ears from popping during takeoff and landing. It also can help keep the child calm, as well as keep them from being hungry. All of this lends to a happier child who will not scream their head off during the flight. Which would you rather sit by: a nursing child or a crying one?

My son is almost three and we have just finished breastfeeding, much to his dismay. It was hard to do it for so long, but I did it to give him a healthy start in life. I received remarks from people who were uncomfortable that I nursed him as a toddler. And there were many times that I wanted to quit. But I don't regret one minute of it. Including all of the times I "had" to nurse in public.

This is an unnecessary stigma. It's past time to do away with it.

My Clients Do Not Get This


Remember, Massage Therapists are not whores. Those are "Masseuses."

I do think this would be funny to wear (buy it for me HERE.) Just NEVER while I'm working.

Next in the lineup: "All forms of release are welcome."


Insert Theme from Jaws Here

"The thing about a shark, it's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When it comes at you it doesn't seem to be livin'... until he bites you, and those black eyes roll over white"

Damn. I have always loved sharks. I am part of the Jaws generation: A kid who would get freaked out swimming in pools and many of the 10,000 lakes here in MN. I loved the first 2 movies. And did countless reports on sharks in school. Having a sister that lives in Hawaii has renewed interest. And then there's articles like this:

Monster shark swallows diver in Jaws-style attack

A SCUBA diver was swallowed almost whole by a great white shark yesterday in a Jaws-style attack just offshore from Cape Town.

. . . .Great whites have been a protected species in South African waters since 1990, but calls for a cull have been growing following the deaths of several South African swimmers and surfers this year.

Two British surfers survived - although one needed 200 stitches to leg wounds and the other had to have 100 stitches to torn hips and buttocks. In yesterday's attack, Mr Murray's diving partner, 23-year-old Piet van Niekerk, shot the great white with his speargun in a desperate attempt to drive it away, but he did not see his friend again.

Dave Estment, a yachtsman, was sitting on the jetty at Simon's Town, near Cape Town, when he saw the great white breach the surface.

"It was incredibly fast. The two spear fishermen were not far from the beach. Suddenly a huge shark surged from under the water taking the one diver [from his legs upwards] to his arms in its jaws," he said. (holy shit)

"It must have been massive to have done that. Then the shark and the man just vanished." Other witnesses to the attack estimated the shark's length at 20 feet. (yikes!)

. . . .Divers from the National Sea Rescue Institute (NSRI) recovered a weightbelt - so damaged that it looked as though it had been sliced through with a knife - a mask, a speargun, a rubber flipper and a buoy with speared fish that had been attached to a trailing line.

NSRI spokesman Craig Lambinon said he believed the shark could have been attracted by the fish. Great white shark tour operators, who lower visitors in cages among the great whites, use chopped-up fish to lure sharks to the cages.

. . . .Dr Robertson said the spear, designed for smaller fish, was unlikely to have caused much damage to the great white. (gee, ya think?!)

Long Ass Summer Day

The weather today was gorgeous. But it was still a Monday. And I had a looong weekend. So it was still hard for me to get off my ass and get outside with Noah to enjoy the sun. But once I did, of course, I regreted that I hadn't done it sooner.

One thing I learned this weekend: Summit Maibock tastes so much better in a frozen beer glass. One so cold that it turns the foam into ice crystals. Mmmm. . . beer slushy.

Another thing I learned: most people's family members are asshats (my favorite word at the moment, after "fuck" even better though is: "fucking asshats").

Most missed activity this weekend: Seeing the movie "Layer Cake" at Lagoon with Jesse and Stan because the movie times didn't work with our babysitter.

Discovery of the weekend: World Market Outlet in St. Paul. Reade got a gorgeous Indian Rug for $432 (originally $1,440) and a funky little bookcase for $120. I saw a dining room table set I loved for $600. If I ever have money (insert laugh track here) I'm going there first. Great sheets for $50 (queen set). 300 thread count and THICK. These sheets are the quality old school sheets your grandma would have sewn and then embroidered a simple design on. For only fifty dollars. It's insane.

One View on Daycare in America

I read a great article on Salon.com called "When Toddlers Get Fired" addressing the issues of kids being expelled from daycare because teachers don't want to deal with problem children. So they take the next kid on the waiting list and hope their behavior is better.

How is this going to affect the expelled child? Their behavior is clearly communicating that the environment is more than they are "emotionally and mentally ready to handle." But some parents have to work and some parents choose to return to work because that is the best choice for them and their family.

Our society is not focused enough on providing for working parents. I've heard complaints from singles in the workforce that we are too family-centric. But that is simply not true. If parents had better support systems, they would perform better at work and have more to contribute to society as a whole.

European countries have it right. People work less, get more vacation, and even free daycare in some cases (like France). It's a focus on quality of life. Our focus is on making money. In most cases, just enough to get by. And to pay that overworked, understaffed daycare center.

UPDATED ENTRY RE: Toothpaste for Dinner

Unfortunately, I was wrong. The picture is not of Dean. But damn man, it really does look like him! And there's the whole Morrissey thing, which really made me think it was him. And no, I don't think that all Asians look alike, so don't even go there! I alerted Dean who was also amused and is on the lookout for the doppelganger.

I was checking out the photo contest on www.toothpastefordinner.com and (what are the odds!?!) I found a picture of my sister's boyfriend! I saw a picture of him for the first time 2 days ago. My sister just told me he loves Morrissey. Vital information to help me determine that this, yes this, is Dean:



What are the odds, huh?

Here's the T-shirt he's wearing. I was thinking of ordering it even before I saw him wearing it (really, I swear, I'm not copying! maybe. . . )



Or this one:

WalMart Fights Benefits Disclosure in MN

Check out this article in the Star Trib today.

Talk about admiting guilt inadvertantly. If they have nothing to hide, why would they not want to disclose how many of their employees are on Medicare? And why shouldn't we, as taxpayers, know where the Medicare money is going?

Yet another sign that WalMart is evil. If you shop there, please stop. Go to Target. They actually GIVE BACK to the community vs. draining the communities resources.

I LOVE Salt

Luckily for me, I can have my salt and so far, so good on the ol' blood pressure. And boy do I love my salt. Even as a kid, if my parents didn't keep an eye on the salt shaker it ended up in my mouth. And we lived on a farm. With salt licks for the cows and big chunks of salt for the water softner. Sounds gross, I know, but hey, kids have eaten worse.

Being pregnant sucked because I had to lay off the ol' salt along with caffiene and alcohol. Even so, Noah still inherited my love for salt. It's totally a family thing. Both my sisters are salt-aholics as well. It's hardwired in our DNA.

If you are itching to buy me a present, try this: "Salt:A World History" by Mark Kurlansky. I just found out about this book and NEED to read it one day. Or any gourmet salt will do. Really. I would luurve it.

The best article I have read about salt was written by Dara Moskowitz in City Pages. She widened my salt horizons beyond Morton's salt and sea salt. Did you know there is a salt to serve over chocolate? It's called Maldon salt and it is a woman's version of a wet dream, I tell ya.

Since I don't have the picture of me at 2 years old with a salt shaker in my mouth scanned, I will leave you with this: a kid on the way to his family's salt mine. I bet a dollar he's chewing on a mouthful right now.

What kind of English do You Speak?

Your Linguistic Profile:

55% General American English

20% Yankee

15% Upper Midwestern

5% Dixie

5% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Another entertaining quiz. . .