One Week Pledge

This week, I pledge no late night snacks and no more than one drink a day as I have no money to buy new pants.

I have to find another way to deal with this ever-loving crap pile of stress in my life.

Let's keep me accountable, m-kay?

Oh, and thanks.

Uuum. . . what?

I think the brainiacs who came up with that sign are the same ones who made this you tube video.



You really have to watch it. I want to blog about the insanity, but that would ruin the surprise.

No wonder I have a problem with organized religion.

Bath time!

Tonight both Noah and Dodi (the dog) had a bath. Noah was first. After he got out and Daddy Stan was helping him put on his PJ's I drained it a bit and threw the dog in. I felt like Laura Ingalls Wilder, reusing the bathwater just like they did in the old days.

Then I trimmed their nails. I think that's enough accomplishments for today, don't you?

The Answer To All Your Questions

Is it still tasty?

For a girl who is squeamish when it comes to leftovers, this page is very helpful.

Tattoo Ideas

For our 10th anniversary, I am getting a tattoo of sweet pea flowers on my upper left arm. Today, I found a gorgeous tattoo I am going to base the style on.

The description of the photo said: "Sexy girl neck with permanent Flower Art Tattoo Design, so nice and sexy." Seriously, people? I'm pretty sure this is a dude.

Lazy much?

On Monday I fell asleep fully clothed while putting Noah to bed. I didn't bother changing clothes to bring him to school, went back to bed in them and wore them the rest of the day until I hit the gym at 5 PM.

Today I am bringing Noah to school in my pajamas and plan to go straight back to bed.

I think my laziness is deteriorating.

I can't believe I had to put the sign up already.

NO SOLICITING!

If you are under 12 and raising money for cub scouts, school, etc. ring that bell!

Otherwise . . .

We don't want to sign your petition, give money to your cause or join your religion/cult.

If you're selling it, we don't want it.

If you let my dog out, you must chase it, catch it, and bring it back.

F My Life

Best website ever.

Here are some good snippets:

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we proceeded to have sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell your faking."

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth

Today, I was trying to register for a porn site. I secretly took my father's credit card, but all I got back was a "this credit card is already in use."

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper.

OMG Girl Porn

Paul's girlfriend is HOT.

LOL Cat FAIL

Shake it up.

A client of mine said her and her hubby were shaking up their life - - - by brushing their teeth with the non-dominant hand every day for 30 days.

This is supposed to build new neuron pathways, or somehow screw with their brain in a good way.

It sounded like fun (and a little lame, I mean, this is what you do to shake up your life?) so I told her I would try it.

Today is day one. If you find me curled up on the bathroom floor gripping a toothbrush with my cold, dead hand, you will know my little brain simply couldn't handle it.