Best website ever.
Here are some good snippets:
Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we proceeded to have sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell your faking."
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth
Today, I was trying to register for a porn site. I secretly took my father's credit card, but all I got back was a "this credit card is already in use."
Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper.
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