Noah Rediscovers Snow

The day after Thanksgiving we had enough snow to shovel. Or sweep. There was a couple inches, but it was light and powdery. Noah had a blast, even though he had to wear a pair of Mama's gloves.

Child labor

Noah goes sledding for the first time.

On our little hill in the backyard.

With big brother Jesse.

Second Pic of First Snow

By the end of winter, I'm sure I'll be sick of it, but for now: LOOKIE, IT'S SNOW!!!

Happy Turkey Day!

Note to Self

Don't leave matches from Sex World next to the candle in massage space.

Clients could get the wrong idea. . .

Steppin' Out with my Baby

You know you're a parent when your TicketMaster alerts read more like the lineup of PBS morning shows than the Current's playlist. I haven't seen a play in years, unless you count Scrimshaw shows, but on January 25th the family is going to "SuperGrover! Ready for Action!" That's kind of like a play, right?

We have floor seats, kind of to the side, but are hoping everything is set up so Noah can get a good view of all the action. And hopefully we'll get out of there without breaking the bank on Sesame Street paraphernalia. I'll have to keep you posted.

Oh, and as for musical performances, the last for us was Har Mar Superstar at the Pizza Luce Block party. I really wanted to go with Jesse and Stan to see Brendan Benson at the 400 Bar, but alas, one of us had to stay home with little man. Sigh. . .

The Best Cookies Ever!

Tuesday we went over to Fornell's new digs for some fine Craiger cusine and to see the new place. The house is laid out somewhat like ours except they have a bigger attic, an additional half bath and a bigger yard. They do have to share a driveway, but then again, we have to share an alley, so it all evens out.

I told Craig not to worry about making something a three year old would like. Noah ate some rice and then mounds and mounds of Swedish Pepparkakor or "wish cookies". You are supposed to hold them in the palm of your hand and tap them with your index finger. If they break into three pieces (see below) you get a wish. Noah didn't engage in the wishing part, but did dip them in Stan's coffee. I know, I know, we're great parents! What parent doesn't give their three year old coffee at 10 PM at night? Huh? We were kind of beat near the end of the night, but really enjoy having the Fornell's back in town. Word to C & T: if you move back to Portland, you can take us with you.

Last Day of Autumn

Stan took Friday off to spend with the fam. We packed a picnic and went to the nearest park/lake. Here is the only picture I took before the batteries went out:

Noah at Three Rivers District Park

We then went to Castle Heights Park, Noah's favorite park ever. It was a little brisk out, but we all had a good time. The next day, it snowed. Our timing really could not have been better!

Holy BeJesus on a Doily!!

Maybe I'll get into heaven if I learn to crochet this!

The Apprentice by Lewis Libby

Nice to know that good, Christian conservatives like Libby are running the country.

My favorite reviews from Amazon.com:

"Like a good conservative, Libby glorifies forced bestiality"

"At age ten the madam put the child in a cage with a bear trained to couple with young girls so the girls would be frigid and not fall in love with their patrons. They fed her through the bars and aroused the bear with a stick when it seemed to lose interest."

This really gets to the heart of the conservative family values that good Republicans like Scooter Libby represent. I wonder if child rape was a part of Scooter's own family upbringing? He seems to be well versed in the practice.

"Libby is a Sick Criminal"

You already know that this guy is a criminal who has tried to get American foreign service officers killed, but did you know how sick this guy is? Read this from the Washington Post:

In literary style, Libby's guilt is an open-&-smut case

...A few days later, Vice President Cheney's chief of staff sent me an inscribed copy of "The Apprentice," his 1996 novel of early 20th-century Japan. I never got past the second page.

Luckily, in the latest New Yorker, Lauren Collins summarizes the novel's sex scenes.

"The main female character, Yukiko, draws hair on the 'mound' of a little girl," Collins reports. "The brothers of a dead samurai have sex with his daughter."

Meanwhile, "certain passages can better be described as reminiscent of Penthouse Forum," Collins writes. "Other sex scenes are less conventional."

Collins quotes from the indicted aide's novel: "At age 10 the madam put the child in a cage with a bear trained to couple with young girls so the girls would be frigid and not fall in love with their patrons. They fed her through the bars and aroused the bear with a stick when it seemed to lose interest."

British Literary Review editor Nancy Sladek, who oversees a Bad Sex fiction writing contest, tells Collins: "That's a bit depraved, isn't it, this kind of thing about bears and young girls?" Never mind the passage concerning sex with a deer.

Children and animals as sex objects? Unless you want your money to go to a perverted traitor to our country, DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK.

But I was only Supposed to be a Puppet!

Have you heard about Michael Brown's e-mails yet? If not, check this out.

"I'm trapped."

"Can I quit yet?"

Umm . . . aren't you supposed to be working on getting help to people? Not trying to find a way out of your job? Or figuring out which tie to wear?

Asshole.

At least he was receiving helpful advice like, "Make sure to have your sleeves rolled up to your elbows at all times to appear that you are working hard on the issue. Like the president."

Go for the Gold!

Chuck and Alissa got their wedding pictures back. These are my 3 favorites of the 967 taken.

Noah's lookin' fine (middle of couple)

UNBELIEVABLE FOLKS! He's going for the nose!

And he made the mouth! It's good! It's good!

One my proudest moments of parenting yet. I still can't stop laughing.

Party Pics of the Keathlys

For those of you who didn't make it: SHAME ON YOU!!!

Here's what you missed:

Stan the Duct Tape Man

Lisa the Vampire Cow

Sadly, those were the only pictures taken of us that evening. Jesse usually documents everything, but was WAY TOO DRUNK. By the end of the evening he was throwing chairs off the deck and chasing after pissed off cake woman. His shoes were here, his socks were on the deck and his beer glass was in the front yard. We finally tracked him down in Anoka.

I have different feelings about the party. It was weird mixing crowds of people. I didn't feel like I was able to hang out and enjoy myself but had to mingle. Or is it that, at 32, am I too old to be throwing these types of parties? Nah. . . that can't be it.

I did manage to walk into my own screen door and then step on the screen to the firebowl (which belongs to the neighbors) so at least I was a "tipsy cow." Oh, man, I am just so freaking hilarious. . .

A Brief Account of the Last Two Weeks

I made Jacquie an attack scarf for her birthday.

Noah had his first visit to a cemetary for his great-grandpa's funeral.

Stan suprised me with flowers.

My nipples sprouted horns.

What LOST Character Are You?

ake the quiz: "Which LOST character are you?"

Sawyer
You are Sawyer You are a Jackass.

I had picked Sun. . .

The Best Halloween Costumes EVER

The coolest family EVER.

So wrong on so many levels.

Wow. Again, yes, but . . . wow.

We were going to do this, but Stan didn't want to be facing that way. . . ew. . . I've said too much.

If I was picking Stan's costume, THIS WOULD BE IT!

Oh well, at least they have a costume. I'm still thinking of one. . .

Party Games

Well, it's been almost a week since the last post, but things have been crazy here at the K casa. And I've been getting ready for the party on Saturday. Case in point:

FOOS!

Our neighbor was having a garage sale and I scored a foosball table for $5. Jesse bought a cross brace, lube and new balls for the table. By Saturday night, it shall be ready for its first official tournament. Winner gets a gallon of fake blood.

Also, since games were requested by Zach, will be bobbing for apple slices in a vat of apple cider & whiskey. Jesse and I decided that we will start soaking the concoction the night before so the apple slices will be full of alcoholic goodness.

We also have the dart board set up in the garage. Just move the bikes out of the way before you start.

Mostly the plan is simply to get as many people to show up as possible (THIS MEANS YOU) and drink a hell of a lot. We'll have some music playing, fires going (inside and out) & lots of free beer (send your requests to Jesse).

It will be the awesome. I hope.

Come to My Party

HALLOWEEN COSTUME PARTY

Bring your posse and head on over to NE.

October 29th @ 8 PM

Stan, Lisa & Jesse's House
3142 Ulysses Street NE
Minneapolis, MN 55418

612-781-2593

Free Beer. Otherwise BYOB

If you don't come in costume,
we'll douse you in fake blood.

Jesse's version of the invitation: http://halloween.jpmullan.com/

Adventures in Knitting

I knitted two hats last week. One skullcap for Noah and a fuzzy pink hat for Avery. When I get more pics taken, I'll show off my crocheting prowess via my two scarves and ponchos. Now I want to learn how to make mittens. Every kid needs a pair of mittens on a long string.

Noah's skullcap (my first hat)

Pink Fuzzy Hat for Avery

Stan Tried to Turn Me Into a Zombie.

Unfortunately for me, I got away, so I still had to babysit Saturday night. Turning into a zombie and dragging myself from bar to bar would have been much more pleasant. Even with the whole "undead" thing.

Zombie Stan Attacks

The zombie horde left without me, after trying one last attack.

New on FOX!: When Jesse, Stan and Jaquie Attack

Jesse and Zack wrote about their misadventures and there are more zombie pictures here if you are interested in seeing the whole sordid affair. Damn. I wish I coulda been there.

Zombie Pub Crawl - Tonight!

Got no plans tonight? Want to be a zombie? Stan and Jesse will be zombified, and attending the NE Zombie Pub Crawl. Unfortunately, I will be babysitting. But I did make the fake blood. . .

Stan is Super

LISA "Have you been to the new SuperTarget in Roseville yet?"


JESSE: "No."


LISA: "It has ruined me for Cub or Rainbow."


JESSE: "Just like Stan has ruined you for all other men?"


LISA: "Exactly. Exactly like that."

Breathe in, breathe out. . .

I can finally breathe normally again. Yes siree bob, the cold is gone. After two days of psychotic dreams holding me captive in a medicine induced haze I gave up the drugs and now I feel better. Hmm. . . coincidence?

I went to Intelligent Nutrients and picked up a humidifier that makes this funky fog. It's perfect for using with essential oils, although I still need a straight up essential oils diffuser. Anyhow, I got a good oil blend to use for colds and the chick there had me take a dose of their essential oil cold remedy. It was weird swallowing straight up oil, but not as bad as taking flaxseed oil. I think it helped, but didn't buy it. The $35 price tag was a little intimidating. Next time I get a cold, I could just stop by for a sample every day until I'm better. (so evil . . .)

If you haven't been to Intelligent Nutrients, you should stop by. Why? The free chocolate samples. NINE DIFFERENT KINDS OF AMAZINGLY GOOD DARK CHOCOLATE. And if you feel like something to eat or drink, their espresso bar makes the funkiest drinks in town. The Spicy Hot Chocolate is one of my favorites. And the bar makes killer alcoholic drinks too. Expensive, yes, but all the juice is freshly squeezed and they put in funky herbs and flavors that make a regular drink take on a completely different life.

I didn't mean for this post to become a personal endorsement for IN, but, there it is. The fun spot to check out on a lazy Saturday the next time a chocolate craving hits.

R.E.M. Rocks Wedding Reception

Beats Jason and the G-men.

Cold Number One

Noah got the first cold of the season, which he promptly passed on to me and Stan, blowing our weekend plans. We made it out for lunch today, otherwise we've been lounging, sniffling and/or napping. Stan and I are medicated, but little man still refuses to take any medicine except the organic stuff that is probably the equivalent of giving him Vitamin C and Zinc.

I shudder to think of the illnesses yet to come now that Noah is going to classes 2 to 3 times a week. As long as their kids don't have fevers, parents will bring them to class to share the wealth of germs. Sucks, dude.

Anyhow, I'm keeping track this season. Let's see what happens, shall we?

Oh yeah, Jesse is unscathed by this one. Lucky bastard. Oh well, at least we had someone to send out for food. Thanks, man.

At Least This Guy Will Let Me Pick His Costume

This guy is selling the "opportunity" to pick his Halloween costume. Sounds like someone is in desperate need of an imagination transplant - just like me.

Although I think I have the outfit narrowed down. No hints given, but I believe you will be amused.

October 1st: Time to Find a Costume

Stan kicks ass at thinking of costume ideas. I'm only okay at it. I suggested that we let the other person think up our costume ideas and we HAD TO wear whatever they decided. I was actually thinking this would stimulate our imaginations but Stan said, "No way." Why? Because he assummed that I would have him wear this:


And now that he mentions it, I probably would. Although this would be even better:

Another Shirt You Should Buy For Me

Cause I'm only a little bit evil

Last night we hit the park with Little Man and then Menards to look at exterior doors. We bribed Noah by telling him we would look at the "spooky" stuff. The kid loves Halloween displays. The creepier the better. Yup, we're raising a psychopath. This weekend we're going to hit some true Halloween and costume stores. Gotta start working on our costumes for Halloween. No hints given, but we'll take requests.

Bush's Booze Crisis

Okay, it's from the National Enquirer, so we know this is completely made up. But the scary thing is that is seems so plausable. . .

BUSH'S BOOZE CRISIS

Faced with the biggest crisis of his political life, President Bush has hit the bottle again, The National Enquirer can reveal.

Bush, who said he quit drinking the morning after his 40th birthday, has started boozing amid the Katrina catastrophe.

Family sources have told how the 59-year-old president was caught by First Lady Laura downing a shot of booze at their family ranch in Crawford, Texas, when he learned of the hurricane disaster.

His worried wife yelled at him: "Stop, George."

Following the shocking incident, disclosed here for the first time, Laura privately warned her husband against "falling off the wagon" and vowed to travel with him more often so that she can keep an eye on Dubya, the sources add.

"When the levees broke in New Orleans, it apparently made him reach for a shot," said one insider. "He poured himself a Texas-sized shot of straight whiskey and tossed it back. The First Lady was shocked and shouted: "Stop George!"

"Laura gave him an ultimatum before, 'It's Jim Beam or me.' She doesn't want to replay that nightmare — especially now when it's such tough going for her husband."

Bush is under the worst pressure of his two terms in office and his popularity is near an all-time low. The handling of the Katrina crisis and troop losses in Iraq have fueled public discontent and pushed Bush back to drink.

A Washington source said: "The sad fact is that he has been sneaking drinks for weeks now. Laura may have only just caught him — but the word is his drinking has been going on for a while in the capital. He's been in a pressure cooker for months.

"The war in Iraq, the loss of American lives, has deeply affected him. He takes every soldier's life personally. It has left him emotionally drained.

The result is he's taking drinks here and there, likely in private, to cope. "And now with the worst domestic crisis in his administration over Katrina, you pray his drinking doesn't go out of control."

Another source said: "I'm only surprised to hear that he hadn't taken a shot sooner. Before Katrina, he was at his wit's end. I've known him for years. He's been a good ol' Texas boy forever. George had a drinking problem for years that most professionals would say needed therapy. He doesn't believe in it [therapy], he never got it. He drank his way through his youth, through college and well into his thirties. Everyone's drinking around him."

Another source said: "A family member told me they fear George is 'falling apart.' The First Lady has been assigned the job of gatekeeper." Bush's history of drinking dates back to his youth. Speaking of his time as a young man in the National Guard, he has said: "One thing I remember, and I'm most proud of, is my drinking and partying. Those were the days my friends. Those were the good old days!"

Age 26 in 1972, he reportedly rounded off a night's boozing with his 16-year-old brother Marvin by challenging his father to a fight.

On November 1, 2000, on the eve of his first presidential election, Bush acknowledged that in 1976 he was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol near his parents' home in Maine. Age 30 at the time, Bush pleaded guilty and paid a $150 fine. His driving privileges were temporarily suspended in Maine.

"I'm not proud of that," he said. "I made some mistakes. I occasionally drank too much, and I did that night. I learned my lesson." In another interview around that time, he said: "Well, I don't think I had an addiction. You know it's hard for me to say. I've had friends who were, you know, very addicted... and they required hitting bottom (to start) going to AA. I don't think that was my case."

During his 2000 presidential campaign, there were also persistent questions about past cocaine use. Eventually Bush denied using cocaine after 1992, then quickly extended the cocaine-free period back to 1974, when he was 28.

Dr. Justin Frank, a Washington D.C. psychiatrist and author of Bush On The Couch: Inside The Mind Of The President, told The National Enquirer: "I do think that Bush is drinking again. Alcoholics who are not in any program, like the President, have a hard time when stress gets to be great.

"I think it's a concern that Bush disappears during times of stress. He spends so much time on his ranch. It's very frightening."

Published on: 09/21/2005

We Marry Them Off Young Here In MN

Finally, a couple of pictures from the wedding.

The Groom

The Proud Parents

Time to chill

Today = cleaning.

This weekend = chilling.

This weekend marks the first without plans in a long, busy summer. Tonight, we hang out and grill. Sunday, possibly hanging with my sis.

No babysitting, no massage clients, no errands to run. Just chillin.

Stop by for a margarita or a cup of joe if you're in the hood. We'll be here.

I Love Power

7:15 PM last night, the night of the LOST SEASON PREMIERE, a storm rolls through and knocks the freaking power out! It doesn't have the decency to come back on until 10:45 PM. Way too late to make the show.

Noah and I have decided that power is a good thing to have. We like, heck, we love power.

And anyone who has a copy of the Lost season premiere from last night to loan us, we love you even more.

LOST

The LOST season premiere is tonight and I am only on episode eight of the first season. At least I've already seen the narrative summation of the first season. I have to tape it for Stan though, since he's only on episode two.

If I was cool like Paul I would have watched eighteen episodes. Although by now he's probably kicked such ass that he's done watching the complete first season. That's the benefit of not having a kid.

Friends

There are friends that you make, now, in the present. Those people that you carry forward from where you are now. Not from the screw up you were in the past. Those people may stay or may go.

But then there are the friends that have stuck with you from past screw ups and circumstances (i.e. present screw ups) and are still here.

For friends past and present, I salute you.

Thanks for the props. Thanks for the support. No explanations necessary here.

Family = Crazy

We had family wedding #2 this past weekend. Chuck is off the market ladies, you can now breathe easier. No more being waved at on the freeway by a shirtless guy flashing you his cell phone number. No more wondering if you are his first choice for companion of the evening or just one of the two to three girls he'd have on standby so he wouldn't end up alone playing the latest sports video game on a Friday night.

Chuck's new wife Alissa is very nice and very anal. Everything about the wedding was done in the traditional way and planned meticulously. We had to show up three and a half hours early for pictures and that was after everyone shot down her "be here 4 1/2 hours early" plan. We still just sat around, overdressed, for most of the time. Noah was tired, but he still gamely walked up the aisle in his little man tux. He was a bear off and on at the reception, but we managed to pull it out and stay until 11 PM. That's a twelve hour wedding day people! Yikes.

We attended the rehersal and rehersal dinner the day before, but skipped the present opening brunch on Sunday. Enough is enough. We needed a break.

My hopes are that things will settle down now and I can blog more regularly. And that Stan and I can get back to our social lives. Book us now while you can! Dave is hinting that he will be engaged by the end of the month. . .

Oh yeah, now we can now start watching the Lost First Season DVD set. If you haven't seen it yet, come on over! The season premiere is 9/28!

President Takes Responsiblity for Government's Lack of Response

President Bush has done the right thing. He is standing up and taking responsibility for his actions, and for the actions of those that report to him.

I am actually writing a POSITIVE POST ABOUT THE PRESIDENT. I better go look for flying pigs.

How To Win Friends and Influence People

Easy. Just give them an assload of balloons to carry through the streets of downtown at 2 AM.

Skipping and and huge smiles will occur.

Followed by this.

Now That One's a Keeper

I just hope that it's contaminated and they share it with their administration.

Some Things Never Change

It is About Time They Shut Down This Incompetent Fuck!

Title compliments of Stan. He's so sexy when he swears. . .

And here's the story:

FEMA's Brown Removed From Hurricane Katrina Recovery (Update1)

Also from Time magazine:

How Reliable is Brown's Resume?

This is the first good news I've heard in days!

Flippin' Sweet

Best seven hundred dollars I ever spent. We're still figuring out how much money we're saving commuting with the Escort vs. the wagon. Whatever the results though, I'm sure we'll end up ahead.

FEMA Blocking Journalists

What a country! Stan said he always knew that Bush was a true fascist at heart.

The media is finally growing a spine so they are going to be blocked from taking pictures of the dead in New Orleans. The fact that this part of history will go undocumented is mind boggling. Imagine not having pictures from the Holocost or nuclear fallout from WWII. The reason given is that they don't want to take away the deceased's dignity. I'm sorry, but that was taken away a long time ago by our dear President.

Read this post from Stephen Neitzke:

"Adding insult to injury, FEMA incompetent Brown has ordered the media not to photograph the dead bodies in New Orleans. He's blocking cameramen from accompanying the search crews. He's had enough bad press. And he knows that fascist corporatism's media mouthpiece editors will order compliance by the cameramen.

Reasonable? Of course not. It's a slam-dunk violation of the 1st Amendment and freedom of the press. Anyone, dead or alive, can be photographed in a public place. Although morbid, a wide-ranging collection of dead-body photos would simply be part of the truth of what happened in New Orleans.

So here we have the chief of the same agency whose inaction and murderous policies -- turning away many relief parties through Day 5, who could have significantly reduced the death toll -- unconstitutionally gagging the press to stop production of images that show the agency's murderous handiwork.

In-freaking-tolerable.

Remove that incompetent fascist thug and begin criminal prosecution under 18 USC 241 -- violation of citizen rights -- immediately. He is another Bush administration felon-in-waiting. Per the penalties cited in 18 USC 241, his sentence on conviction will be life imprisonment or the death penalty. Richly deserved."

See "FEMA Blocks Photos of New Orleans Dead"

"Good Morning, America, How Are You? Don't You Know Me? I'm Your Native Son."

"America's Forgotten Son"

Watching the Congressional Black Caucus on C-SPAN helped make me feel better on Friday night. Finally! Leaders who are saying what needs to be said. They were not pointing fingers, or making accusations. They were saying that "now is the time for action" and that "there will be plenty of time for finger pointing after we get everyone fed." They said every single angry thought that we were thinking. "How could this happen!?!" They asked the questions that needed asking (Five days!?!?) and assured the American public that they will work diligently to get answers when the time comes.

Jesse Jackson Jr. was a strong orator who was able to phrase these thoughts in strong, precise language that was not based solely on emotional gut responses. Hearing their/his message made me feel better than donating to the Red Cross, better than seeing the truckloads of food, water and supplies collected by UPN within 24 hours and on the road as soon as they were full (yes, a TV station kicked FEMA's ass).

Bush should be ashamed of himself. He showed up in New Orleans for photo ops, neglecting to tell those weeping women he was hugging that it was his administration who cut the New Orleans flood control funding by 44% to pay for the Iraq war. Even though in 2001 FEMA warned that a hurricane striking New orleans was one of the 3 most likely disasters in the US. He also neglected to mention that the US government initially refused international aid for this disaster. WHY? It was obvious to the world that we needed help since we were not responding to our citizens aid on our own.

Local government was underprepared for this disaster. The Federal Government didn't start preparing for emergency relief until after the storm. Is it because the victims are poor and black? Or just because they are black? I was listening to live radio broadcasts from New Orleans and the surrounding area that said food and help is there, but just trickling in despite the displays of convoys of trucks and buses. I thought I was done crying but I was wrong.

Wisconsin said they would take 20,000 refugees. Arkansas has taken 20,000 and said they were prepared to take more. Houston, TX has already taken 50,000 and said they were prepared to take more. Our wonderful governor Tim Pawlenty said we would take 5,000. I hang my head in shame as an American and a Minnesotan.

DON'T TELL ME YOU CAN'T GIVE $5 FN DOLLARS!!!

This is the saddest disaster I have ever seen. It hits me harder than the tsunami because this is our country. This is New Orleans.

You can help. Even a minimum donation of $5 to the Red Cross or Salvation Army WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE. You can specify that you want it used for the victims in New Orleans and these are the two organizations that can get the money to the victims the fastest.

Stan and I have started with $100 and might be able to give even more. If everyone in the US gave at least $5 it would have a huge impact. So get off your ass and make a donation to help our fellow Americans who are dying. Ask your employers if they will match your contribution. Encourage your friends and family to give at least $5.

Links that will make you sick with sadness:

http://neworleans.metblogs.com

http://eyeball-series.org/kat01/katrina-01.htm

http://www.livejournal.com/users/interdictor

Now for the matching commitment ceremony . . .

I lost the diamond to my wedding ring about a year ago. I've missed having a ring and we have spent a long time discussing what to get as a replacement. And today is the day is the day. Here is my new ring:


It will be here in a couple days from estate sales online. An antique ring that is already my size. Just like me and Stan, we were meant to be together. I hope it looks just as good on my finger!

The Great MN Get Together

The Keathly Family

We went to the Fair yesterday. After one hour driving around first mistaking Saints parking for Fair parking then trying to find a Park N Ride that wasn't full, we finally were at the Fair. Then we all discovered that we wanted to go in the late afternoon vs. late morning. D minus in communication to us. We saved ourselves from an F because we all managed to keep our attitudes in check.

We spent four hours eating, walking and arguing over my stroller driving style. If you get hit, I really don't care. Your feet are your own, watch out for them. I'm too busy keeping track of Stan and Jesse in the crowd.

Noah

We brought Noah to the animal barns but missed the swine and cow building because they close them at 3 PM. Lame. But we did ride the Big Slide. Noah loved it. The first word out of his mouth at the bottom was, "Again!"

Noah and Mama on THE BIG SLIDE!

Things I learned for next year:

1. Go later in the day.
2. Resign yourself to stay until the fireworks are over.
3. Choose the Park N Ride closest to home, not closest to the Fair.
4. Have a game plan/itinerary. Share/revise this with your Fair-going clan.
5. Only go with those who really want to be there.
6. Remember that County fairs are smaller and therefore smell less.
   

"That sir, would be my ride."

Stan and I have shared a car ever since we started dating, seven-plus years ago. It's saved on car and insurance payments, but cost on time and did give us a headache or two, make that one hundred and two.

But now, our saga is over. We are the proud owners of a 1995 Ford Escort Hatchback. Yes, I know. We are the awsome.

The Green Machine

We bought it for a mere $700. $100 less than my first car that I bought at 16, sixteen years ago. That was a Subaru GLF. A hatchback piece of tin that drove me and my high school / college friends all over this town. I just wish I still had the tapes that were in that car.

Pastafarianism - The New Religion (yummy!)

May you forever be touched by his noodly appendage. Ramen.

WHY YOU SHOULD CONVERT TO FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTERISM:

• Flimsy moral standards
• Every Friday is a religious holiday. If your work/school objects to that demand your religious beliefs are respected and threaten to call the ACLU.
• Our heaven is WAY better. We've got a Stripper Factory AND a Beer Volcano.

Arg, gimme your monies!

Noah: The Disgruntled Pirate

The best part of childhood is being able to walk around in costumes and not be in danger of someone committing you to the looney bin.

Noah has a couple imagination supercharging outfits: Fireman outfit, superhero cape, cowboy outfit

Noah: AKA "Woody"

and now pirate regalia. Jesse said that all we need now is a monkey suit. . .

BTW - there was a gold hoop clip on earring that Noah doesn't like to wear. I wish it didn't hurt him. It really completes the "look". At least, that is, until we can afford to buy the kid some clothes.

103.8: Little Man Rocks A Fever

Noah: Diaper Ninja!!!

Poor little man woke up at 2 AM with one hell of a fever. As always, I got freaked out and had to read the "What to Expect: The Toddler Years" to read what I already knew. Kids fevers are HIGH. Just like their mosquito bites get HUGE if you let them scratch them.

Some tepid washcloths later we had a wrestling match to try and get some ibuprophen in Noah's system. He won. Big time. That kid can hold the liquid in his mouth, fake swallow and then spit it out well enough to win an Oscar. And that's a performance he started at a year old. Yes, he comes from a long line of manipulators. I just didn't think it would bite us on the ass that soon.

Good news is that the fever went down and he was mostly wonderful to be with. Except for the screaming. I still can't get over the metamorphasis that happens when a kid is sick. He's just so still. It's creepy. There's no TV or anything and he's just laying there. Chilling. A three year old. That's just so not right.

We're skipping daycare duty tomorrow to make sure that the baby doesn't get sick. So I have the next two days off before my next client. And boy, do I need it. . .

I Left Stan for Harry Potter

Someone finally loaned me the Harry Potter Series. A lot of people told me it was good and I was interested in reading it, but it took someone literally putting the book into my hands before it happened. So I moved to Hogwarts for eight days and finally resurfaced this morning after finishing book six. My dreams are filled with magic and I've been thinking of others as "muggles." Crazy. These books = 10/10.

I also watched "Open Water" this week, which again, everyone else has already seen. This movie = 1/10. Totally sucked. Horrible acting, bare bones story line and the sharks weren't even scary. I wanted to be freaked out. I wanted to be scared. I am terribly afraid of and fascinated by sharks. I was an easy target and they totally missed.

Next up =
Movie: The Station Agent
Book: Anne Tyler: "The Accidental Tourist"

VBS is not an acronymn for a sexually transmitted disease

Today I attended an organized religious event for the first time in almost seven years. Or is it eight? By "organized religion" I mean Christian. Lutheran to be specific, in this case. Our friend and neighbor is organizing the Vacation Bible School for the summer and I said I would take Noah. So this morning we were off to St. Paul's in South Minneapolis to take part in the "Kingdom of the Son: A Prayer Safari."

Before the festivities started, Noah was playing with other kids in the nursery so I took a walk around to see the sanctuary. It was an old church. Musty and worn around the edges. "World worn" if you will. The stained glass windows were simple and the decorations were dated from at least a couple of decades ago. I didn't feel at home here, but it did make me miss the church home I don't have.

The last time I atteneded church regularly it was in a community center in Uptown. A rag-tag bunch, but it was home for me. Almost. During college I attended my parent's church (which at the time was Evergreen Community Church. Wierd ass mother fuckers. Seriously. How can you be a church and not believe in sin? They might as well call themselves Unitarians.) or whatever church my friend's were going to.

When I was younger, I attended Bethany Missionary Church in Bloomington. I was there from the time I was 2 and my parents moved there to attend college, to about 22. The VBS there was amazing. Decorations were over the top, there was a music band, something planned for every second, and at least 100 kids attended. My memories of them are good. But my memories of Bethany as a whole are not so good. Most of what they did was enable my parents to spiritualize the alcoholism and abuse that was going on in our home. I'm sorry, but my Dad flipping out is not due to Satan, but the bottle of Jack Daniel's he just consummed. And no, I don't want to speak in tongues, I want someone to pound some sense into my mom to leave the cocksucker. THAT would be helpful, thanks.

(Insert throat clearing noise here.) Noah's first VBS experience wasn't the same as mine. But at least it's a first step, for him and for me into the world of organized religion again. I have my beliefs. I have my spirituality. I don't "need" church. But sometimes, I think it might be nice.

Avoidance Takes A Lot Of Work

Do you ever wonder how people view you? Today one of my mom friends said, "What? You mean you aren't perfect?" and she wasn't being sarcastic. It was a mix of flattering and weird for me to hear. I know that I can work hard, but I slack my way through most of every day, never getting close to motivated enough to do a whole heck of a lot.

I spend a lot of time on the computer and a lot of time watching TV with Noah. Basically, I sit on my ever expanding ass a lot. Then, after naptime, I rally the reserve forces of energy and clean the house and start getting dinner ready. Stay at home parents take note, this makes it look like you've actually been working all day. Then we have dinner, hang out and/or run errands and get Noah to bed late.

I don't get much accomplished. I'm not continuing my studies in massage like I want/ought to. I'm not exercising. I'm not journaling. All of these things would have positive results for me but I am avoiding them as if my life depended on it.

Is this depression? Or am I just lazy?

What A Man, What A Man, What A Man, What A Mighty Good Man.

Saturday marked our 6th wedding anniversary, which actually means we have been together for 7 years. Am I still happily married? Yes. Am I sure I married the right man? Yes. Am I insanely lucky? YES. Seriously though, just check out my hubby:


He gave me Noah, which sometimes I give him grief for (parenting can be SO HARD!) but Noah will always be the best gift I've ever received. Stan is kind, loving and incredibly tolerant of me and my female (over)emotionalism. He works hard to provide for his family. He works hard on improving himself and on being a good husband and father. And he is the person I enjoy spending time with far above and beyond anyone else (save Noah, who comes in a VERY CLOSE SECOND).

I love you Stan. Happy Anniversary Sweetheart!.