I blame the parents.

I ca't believe it either!

What Nightmares Are Made of.

UPDATE: Even better? He's a registered sex offender.

I don't think I'll ever be able to sleep again.

Roger Ebert is the man.

Seriously. I loved reading his article: "Why I believe in God."

Baby Hulk

I love kids. Especially when they belong to someone else.

The Internets Now Has Everything.

"Normally you wouldn't think an arsonist would be good at sex. Boy was I ever wrong!
Thanks Conjugal Harmony!"

Save the Date!

When? Saturday, May 2nd

Where? The Keathly Home

Why? To drink!!! I mean, to celebrate! Sarah is graduating from her master's program! Jesse will be in town! Lisa's birthday is on Cinco de Mayo! Also, I needed an excuse to buy a GIANT pinata. The only thing I need to figure out is what I am going to fill it with . . . besides the obligatory candy.

I'm sure at least one Facebook invitation will be generated, possibly three, but for now, mark the date!

Who wants to go camping Memorial Day weekend?

I do! I do!

Join us here. We will be staying in the campsites. We don't go for that fancy RV camping. Might as well just stay home, or crash in someone's trailer for the weekend. Shit, man. . . you don't bring a TV and microwave camping!

We do have an extra tent someone can borrow.

Note to self

You have a hard time with moderation.

You are a girl of extremes.

How am I doing so far?

Oh, yeah, I did pledge something, didn't I?

Hmm . . . yeah . . . about that, it's not going so well.

I have been stuffing my face with anything I want (insert joke from Jesse here).

BUT

I did go to spin class today and kicked some ass!

So, there is hope.

One Week Pledge

This week, I pledge no late night snacks and no more than one drink a day as I have no money to buy new pants.

I have to find another way to deal with this ever-loving crap pile of stress in my life.

Let's keep me accountable, m-kay?

Oh, and thanks.

Uuum. . . what?

I think the brainiacs who came up with that sign are the same ones who made this you tube video.



You really have to watch it. I want to blog about the insanity, but that would ruin the surprise.

No wonder I have a problem with organized religion.

Bath time!

Tonight both Noah and Dodi (the dog) had a bath. Noah was first. After he got out and Daddy Stan was helping him put on his PJ's I drained it a bit and threw the dog in. I felt like Laura Ingalls Wilder, reusing the bathwater just like they did in the old days.

Then I trimmed their nails. I think that's enough accomplishments for today, don't you?

The Answer To All Your Questions

Is it still tasty?

For a girl who is squeamish when it comes to leftovers, this page is very helpful.

Tattoo Ideas

For our 10th anniversary, I am getting a tattoo of sweet pea flowers on my upper left arm. Today, I found a gorgeous tattoo I am going to base the style on.

The description of the photo said: "Sexy girl neck with permanent Flower Art Tattoo Design, so nice and sexy." Seriously, people? I'm pretty sure this is a dude.

Lazy much?

On Monday I fell asleep fully clothed while putting Noah to bed. I didn't bother changing clothes to bring him to school, went back to bed in them and wore them the rest of the day until I hit the gym at 5 PM.

Today I am bringing Noah to school in my pajamas and plan to go straight back to bed.

I think my laziness is deteriorating.

I can't believe I had to put the sign up already.

NO SOLICITING!

If you are under 12 and raising money for cub scouts, school, etc. ring that bell!

Otherwise . . .

We don't want to sign your petition, give money to your cause or join your religion/cult.

If you're selling it, we don't want it.

If you let my dog out, you must chase it, catch it, and bring it back.

F My Life

Best website ever.

Here are some good snippets:

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we proceeded to have sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell your faking."

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth

Today, I was trying to register for a porn site. I secretly took my father's credit card, but all I got back was a "this credit card is already in use."

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper.

OMG Girl Porn

Paul's girlfriend is HOT.

LOL Cat FAIL