I caught part of an Oprah episode last week where moms were talking about the attention their hubbies got vs. their kids. It seems that ignoring your mate is okay as long as you are a super mom in today's society. When did this happen? I know that parenting takes most of my time and energy, but I'm not going to deny myself and my hubby of a relationship because I have a kid. We don't have much time together, and yes, we don't have that much time for lovin'. But we do have a date night once every 2-4 weeks. And we try to connect at least once a day for a couple minutes at the very least.
One woman thought it was okay that she watched TV during sex. And another woman spent ALL of her time with her kids. In 3 years she hadn't so much as gone to the bathroom without them because it "freaked the kids out too much to be separated from her". SERIOUSLY. Man, that's messed up, dude.
Having an infant is HARD. Having kids is HARD. But as they grow, and you learn how to relate to your little one, it gets easier. Taking time out for yourself, especially at first, is HARD, but it is so worth it. It recharges you and helps you to be a better parent and a better mate.
It made me think about how exhausted I am at the end of the day. Entertaining Noah, cleaning, cooking, etc. for 10+ hours a day is a lot of work. And part of it I do for Stan. I like to have dinner ready and the house clean if at all possible when he gets home. But does he appreciate it? I think so. Would he rather I not work as hard and save energy for nightly sex? "Sadly, yes," was the reply.
We had a long talk about "us" and our "relationship" and the daily ruts we fall into we'd like to change. It made us feel so good to know where each other were at and that we are focused on the same goals. And that's the difference between me and the women who appeared on Oprah. I'm not in this alone. I have a partner who is willing to work with me and hold me accountable to taking care of myself and my spouse as well as my kid. Every woman should be so lucky.
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