Why are You Tube Videos refusing to show up on my site?

They should! They really should! Especially this one.

I am a writer

Not because I want to be published with fans and money and all that good stuff. I would like that as well though, I mean, who wouldn't?

The real reason I am a writer, that I know I am a writer, is that I am compelled to write. Some of the self-sabotage I do, the bad habits I have, are because I am not writing. I am not using the outlet I inherently am compelled to use. I also have this all compassing knowledge that I can make people feel things. Only later in life do I realize that it's not to take care of the world, but to relate to it.

I know some writers. Writers like me. Jesse is a writer, his mother (and mine!) Reade is a writer. They both weave their words with emotion, intelligence and wit together on a page that makes you laugh, cry or ponder, "who the hell are these freaks?"

I am so proud of Reade. She is published on line, doing volunteer reporting that utilizes her intelligence, research and just plain ingenuity. Jesse is a master of not only the written word, but many languages of programming. Sometimes they kick his ass, but he fights back, with samurai-precision, bending the code with his very will.

At times, reading his blog brings back the fear I had at reading a poem my sister wrote about my grandpa's hands. It was so eloquent, so fucking spot on, that I instantly realized I could never top it. Of course, I was only twelve, and an older sister always makes you feel insignificant. The point is that I gave up my dream of writing at twelve and have had a hard time taking it seriously after that. Childhood, my friends, can fuck you up.

So I should start writing. For me. Shitty first drafts, as Anne Lamott would say. I should follow the example of my amazing mother and just start writing already! Even if it's about migrant swans, just start already!!!

I left my T-shirt in SanFrancisco. . .

I won't spill all the beans about our trip to "The City" but I can share a couple things.

First off: Noah flew the plane to SanFrancisco.


Stan got stoned for the first time in Haight Ashbury.

While Noah turned into a tiger (or were we tripping?)

Stan almost got killed at Fisherman's Wharf by a creepier-than-hell-mask-wearing, knife wielding maniac.


In 98% of all the pictures, Noah is channeling one of the bimbos from "The Price is Right."


And I turned 35.

The perfect summer drink

I am enjoying my G&T made with lime mineral water, lime and just a splash of gin. It would take about a dozen of these to equal a full shot of alcohol, so it's the perfect "I'm drinking, but not really drinking" summer drink.

Today was a doozie. I work tomorrow as well and need Sunday to finalize practically everything for the trip as well as get the house and puppy ready for our absence.

I have a lot to do. So, naturally, I am off to take a bath. I did just work 11 hours after all.

Also: Noah is watching a Scooby Doo episode with Scrappy Doo: the most annoying cartoon character of all time.

Not funny.

More cussing

In addition to "shitballs" I have expanded my vocabulary expediently with two more cuss words that bring me joy. I give you: fucktard (as in "they were fucked so hard, they were fucktard") and Jesus Christ Superstar.

I know, I am classy.

This one is for Jesse

I think I found the people you were with the other night.

Mediatemple?

And I think I really know just how the night ended.

Jesse?

My birthday tattoo.

I luvs it.

Ow

In the midst of learning how to play the game at work, I signed up for an extra shift. Okay at the time, but today is the day and I am dreading it. Extra money = good. Giving two 90 minute stone massages in a row = hellish.

Currently I am a walking billboard for someone who desperately needs to see a massage therapist. Thank all deities that Mark will be here tonight to work some of the pain out. If you hear screaming laced with swear words around 6PM tonight, that will be me.

Tattoo finalists

The bluebird on a barbed wire fence is out. Here are the finalists. The final product will probably be a version of the first picture.

Falling leaves. So pretty.

Fat bird with leaves and delicate branches.

I am so excited. I can't wait for my ink!

Live Journal

My live journal expired and was deleted. Please join me in a few seconds of silence in memory of what was. . .

Okay now that's over, what should my new livejournal/account name be? I am going to switch blogging sites so I can write some locked posts for my homies and write free of censoring so I can keep my job and friendships intact.

Your choices are:

• HoBag
• Bitchface
  
• Whore

Or you can come up with your own. That might be better. The most creative one wins the prize. Please don your thinking caps and come up with a doozie.

Books I read in March

Here are the wondrous books I read in March. Many of the authors I have read before, will read again, or both.

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
Object Lessons by Anna Quindlen
Sex and The City by Candace Bushnell
Cannery Row by John Steinbeck
Dog Behavior Answer Book by Arden Moore
Naked by David Sedaris
Mistress of the Art of Death by Ariana Franklin
Innocent Traitor by Allison Weir
Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs

23.5 YTD means I will most likely read about 80 books this year. Nice.

Roller Derby Family

I know they have Roller Girls, but how about Roller Dudes? Or Family Derby Teams? We are so competitive, there would be blood, you know there would. Stan would ruthlessly tease the kids while Noah would tell the moms they were fat. I would cut to the chase and kick the dad in the balls with my skates. Fouls would be flying everywhere. It would be awesome.

Noah on skates.

Anyway, Noah and I got roller skates today. He is following in the wheel tracks of his mama, that boy is. I hope he has many enjoyable hours skating to a selection of music that does not mainly focus (or even include) Christian Contemporary.

It is happening.

It's time for my birthday tattoo!

I will be at Kore's Tatu Shop on 4/15 at 10:30 AM. Feel free to come and watch!

I knew the previous post would have reprocussions.

Because now, I has snow.

Itz Spring!

These carpets are clean!!!

I have achieved step one in the dog house training process: clean all odors and stains from carpet.

There are some great recommendations on line. I used a mixture of dish detergent, hydrogen peroxide and baking soda. 416 ounces of hydrogen peroxide took care of my large upstairs bedroom. Yes, I know. That is so not good, it is actually BAD.

Next up is dealing with the puppers. Stuff like walking her daily, letting her out consistently, blah, blah, blah.

Wish us luck!

Ooh! I remember what I was going to say!

I have changed my favorite swearword. It is now "shitballs."

You may now go back to your regularly scheduled life.

Also: shitballs!

Things I realized

1. I don't look good in red.
2. Gay men can have anal sex face to face. I don't know why I thought they were only able to do it doggy style. Thanks for the visual, book.
3. You should never move a half-full fish tank. They are sedentary items.
4. Time does not make annoying people any less annoying.
5. Religious expert believes the resurrection was metaphorical. Damn interesting.
   

I swear there was more, but once I am out of the cave of a massage room, I tend to forget the epiphanies I had in the quiet solitude of rubbing a naked person's ass.

On that note, happy Easter!

Books I read in February

The count is at lucky #13 as of February 29th

1. Cesar's Way by Cesar Millan
2. Turtle Moon by Alice Hoffman
3. The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella
4. Mister B. Gone by Clive Barker
5. The Winter of the World by Carol Ann Lee
6. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

March has 8 books logged already. I'm enjoying the reading, as well as the list making. Who knew keeping track of what you've read could be so enjoyable?