The perfect summer drink

I am enjoying my G&T made with lime mineral water, lime and just a splash of gin. It would take about a dozen of these to equal a full shot of alcohol, so it's the perfect "I'm drinking, but not really drinking" summer drink.

Today was a doozie. I work tomorrow as well and need Sunday to finalize practically everything for the trip as well as get the house and puppy ready for our absence.

I have a lot to do. So, naturally, I am off to take a bath. I did just work 11 hours after all.

Also: Noah is watching a Scooby Doo episode with Scrappy Doo: the most annoying cartoon character of all time.

Not funny.

More cussing

In addition to "shitballs" I have expanded my vocabulary expediently with two more cuss words that bring me joy. I give you: fucktard (as in "they were fucked so hard, they were fucktard") and Jesus Christ Superstar.

I know, I am classy.

This one is for Jesse

I think I found the people you were with the other night.

Mediatemple?

And I think I really know just how the night ended.

Jesse?

My birthday tattoo.

I luvs it.

Ow

In the midst of learning how to play the game at work, I signed up for an extra shift. Okay at the time, but today is the day and I am dreading it. Extra money = good. Giving two 90 minute stone massages in a row = hellish.

Currently I am a walking billboard for someone who desperately needs to see a massage therapist. Thank all deities that Mark will be here tonight to work some of the pain out. If you hear screaming laced with swear words around 6PM tonight, that will be me.

Tattoo finalists

The bluebird on a barbed wire fence is out. Here are the finalists. The final product will probably be a version of the first picture.

Falling leaves. So pretty.

Fat bird with leaves and delicate branches.

I am so excited. I can't wait for my ink!

Live Journal

My live journal expired and was deleted. Please join me in a few seconds of silence in memory of what was. . .

Okay now that's over, what should my new livejournal/account name be? I am going to switch blogging sites so I can write some locked posts for my homies and write free of censoring so I can keep my job and friendships intact.

Your choices are:

• HoBag
• Bitchface
  
• Whore

Or you can come up with your own. That might be better. The most creative one wins the prize. Please don your thinking caps and come up with a doozie.

Books I read in March

Here are the wondrous books I read in March. Many of the authors I have read before, will read again, or both.

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
Object Lessons by Anna Quindlen
Sex and The City by Candace Bushnell
Cannery Row by John Steinbeck
Dog Behavior Answer Book by Arden Moore
Naked by David Sedaris
Mistress of the Art of Death by Ariana Franklin
Innocent Traitor by Allison Weir
Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs

23.5 YTD means I will most likely read about 80 books this year. Nice.

Roller Derby Family

I know they have Roller Girls, but how about Roller Dudes? Or Family Derby Teams? We are so competitive, there would be blood, you know there would. Stan would ruthlessly tease the kids while Noah would tell the moms they were fat. I would cut to the chase and kick the dad in the balls with my skates. Fouls would be flying everywhere. It would be awesome.

Noah on skates.

Anyway, Noah and I got roller skates today. He is following in the wheel tracks of his mama, that boy is. I hope he has many enjoyable hours skating to a selection of music that does not mainly focus (or even include) Christian Contemporary.

It is happening.

It's time for my birthday tattoo!

I will be at Kore's Tatu Shop on 4/15 at 10:30 AM. Feel free to come and watch!

I knew the previous post would have reprocussions.

Because now, I has snow.

Itz Spring!

These carpets are clean!!!

I have achieved step one in the dog house training process: clean all odors and stains from carpet.

There are some great recommendations on line. I used a mixture of dish detergent, hydrogen peroxide and baking soda. 416 ounces of hydrogen peroxide took care of my large upstairs bedroom. Yes, I know. That is so not good, it is actually BAD.

Next up is dealing with the puppers. Stuff like walking her daily, letting her out consistently, blah, blah, blah.

Wish us luck!

Ooh! I remember what I was going to say!

I have changed my favorite swearword. It is now "shitballs."

You may now go back to your regularly scheduled life.

Also: shitballs!

Things I realized

1. I don't look good in red.
2. Gay men can have anal sex face to face. I don't know why I thought they were only able to do it doggy style. Thanks for the visual, book.
3. You should never move a half-full fish tank. They are sedentary items.
4. Time does not make annoying people any less annoying.
5. Religious expert believes the resurrection was metaphorical. Damn interesting.
   

I swear there was more, but once I am out of the cave of a massage room, I tend to forget the epiphanies I had in the quiet solitude of rubbing a naked person's ass.

On that note, happy Easter!

Books I read in February

The count is at lucky #13 as of February 29th

1. Cesar's Way by Cesar Millan
2. Turtle Moon by Alice Hoffman
3. The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella
4. Mister B. Gone by Clive Barker
5. The Winter of the World by Carol Ann Lee
6. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

March has 8 books logged already. I'm enjoying the reading, as well as the list making. Who knew keeping track of what you've read could be so enjoyable?

San Francisco, here we come!

In 2000, Stan got laid off a week before our first family vacation in Austin, Texas. The whole time he worried about money and was horribly depressed. Since then, the only trips we have undertaken are weekend camping and bed and breakfast getaways.

This year, though, we are off to San Francisco! I am looking forward to spending time with my boys as we experience the city and kick back for a few days. We will be there solo for four days and then Stan's mom and sister are joining us for the last four days of the trip. We will be visiting relatives in Santa Rosa and also hope to see some of the sites: Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz, Fisherman's Wharf and Chinatown as well as hit wine country and view some of the beautiful redwood forests.

It will be most awesome.

Any insider tips would be great! I'll even send you a postcard!

I got my first snarky blog comment!

I always wondered what I would feel like if I got smack comments on my blog. I didn't think it would happen, since only like three people read it and I know all of them. But, lo and behold, I got one!

Boy. I knew you were fairly egocentric - but didn't really get it until I read through a few of your blogs. Perhaps you might give a little thought to the idea that you are not the only one in your universe...there are others around you at home and at work.

Oh, I am chastised. My head, she is hanging low. Just kidding, I am amused. Obviously, someone doesn't like me. Boo-hoo! Someone is telling me that my blog, which is about me, is egocentric. At least they got the point. It's all about me, because it's my blog.

Next up in Lisa's blog: It's all Lisa, all the time!!!
Lisa's underwear drawer: updates for spring!
The latest drama as Lisa removes the dog pee smell from our carpet!
Lisa's continuing obsession with waxing.
Lisa's toe nail polish choices: should she go sheer or bold for vacation?
A hidden secret: Lisa and her struggles with going to the gym more than once a week. Possible intervention episode.
Keep coming back for your daily dose of LISA!!!

A little respite. Maybe.

Things at work are in flux. There is a possibility that my schedule may change. I am hoping to get one more night off to be home with the boys.

Also, I just put in a vacation request for our family San Francisco trip the first week of May. Keep your fingers crossed!!!