Christmas Eve Eve

On the Eve of Christmas Eve, Jesse's lady Jacquie, Mama Reade and Papa John came over for dinner and presents. We made Swedish meatballs and mashed potatoes. Jesse rocked the gravy, as usual, and everyone loved their gifts and drank copiously. Observe:

Jacquie XO's Cindy Sherman

Noah is thrilled with his new shirt

and his new castle!

John recieves a new way to communicate drunkeness.

And Stan is thrilled with Jacquie's new Hello Kitty wallet.

That was the end of day one. Two more days of present opening (and drinking) to go!

Christmas Fun with Noah

We took Noah to see the Snow White display at Marshall Field's the Monday before Christmas. He thought the display was ok, but was very excited to see Santa.

Noah at the ball

Noah at the ball take two.

That night we decorated sugar cookies.

Noah surveying his art.

Noah devouring his art while wearing his Summit Brewing hat.

The CHRONICles of Narnia

Jesse and I saw The CHRONICles of Narnia last night. We both gave it a 4 1/2 stars out of 5.

The CG effects were amazing, Aslan rocked the house and the casting was great, except for Edmund who kept reminding me of Albert Ingalls from Little House and the Prairie.

The only other thing I didn't like was the Professor. He looked made up for the part, not like a real old man. But he was kind, eccentric and understanding, just like he should have been.

So . . . go see it already.

Cookies

We now have many kinds available.

Chocolate chip bars with little white and red santa candy heads in them.

Peanut butter with chocolate chips.

Sugar cookies - all decorated, only some with frosting.

Wish cookies (courtesy of the Fornells) Noah has declared them the "best cookies ever!" as evidenced by his ability to make not only the cookies break into three pieces (thus earning a wish) but breaking said pieces into three pieces with his karate chop technique. I assume that this means he gets four wishes a cookie, but that might be pushing his Scandinavian luck.

Anyhow, if your in the neighborhood, drop by for a cookie or two. We've even got some milk for ya.

Christmas is Coming, the Lisa's Getting Fat

Please put a few zillion pennies in my sack.

Seven days 'till Christmas. I have two people left to buy for and two homeade presents left to finish.

So things are pretty much under control.

Tomorrow Grandma is taking Noah to see Santa and the Christmas display downtown. Stay tuned for super cute pictures and cute ancidotes.

My Future Daughter In Law

Noah asked me if he could get married today. After giving my blessing, I asked who the lucky lady is. It wasn't his best friend Ella, or even his Mom (which I've been warned will happen). Instead it was an exotic alien female:

This pic is for the fellas.

I gotta admit, the kid's got taste.

ATTENTION LADIES!!! Jesse is off the market.

Jesse has himself a lady. Or, at least, she has herself a bitch, since she says Jesse is the one with the vagina. Either way, this means that Jesse as we now know him is gone. Even when he dated his ex-lady they/he spent a lot of time here. Now he has someone that he will run out of the house at a drop of the hat for with a big ol' happy grin on his face. Never mind that the Keathlys might need entertainment (i.e. chores done around the house/babysitting). The lady must be appeased!

I am happy for him, really, I am. We, as the parental unit, approve of his classy choice. But it is kind of sad to slip a rung down in the importance of Jesse's life. Oh well, bird's gotta fly. I just hope he comes home to visit sometimes.

The Latest For Baby - Tatoos

What every baby needs. Just in time for Christmas!

America Lovin' Baby

Hard Knocks Baby

Koi Lovin' Child

Xmas Presents for Jesse

Because the vibrating pillow alarm clock just doesn't cut it.

There's "Clocky: The Rolling Alarm Clock." Clocky rolls off your nightstand, bounces off your startled dog and finds a new place to hide once you press the snooze button.

Or the "Blowfly Alarm Clock." When the alarm activates, it spins a propeller and flies up above you making ridiculous noises. The only way to stop it is to wake up, grab it, and set it back down in its docking station.

Technology is the awesome.

Toy Story III: "The Revenge"

Grandma gave Noah two life sized dolls. Noah loves them:


But his Mama is the type of gal that has dreams about these sort of toys going bad. Evil bad. That is one of the many reasons I abhor puppets. Those jerky, quasi-life like movements are uber creepy. So far, so good with our giganto Buzz and Woody dolls, but a small part of me is still afraid that I'll wake up with this face hovering by the side of my bed:

with a knife.

Noah Rediscovers Snow

The day after Thanksgiving we had enough snow to shovel. Or sweep. There was a couple inches, but it was light and powdery. Noah had a blast, even though he had to wear a pair of Mama's gloves.

Child labor

Noah goes sledding for the first time.

On our little hill in the backyard.

With big brother Jesse.

Second Pic of First Snow

By the end of winter, I'm sure I'll be sick of it, but for now: LOOKIE, IT'S SNOW!!!

Happy Turkey Day!

Note to Self

Don't leave matches from Sex World next to the candle in massage space.

Clients could get the wrong idea. . .

Steppin' Out with my Baby

You know you're a parent when your TicketMaster alerts read more like the lineup of PBS morning shows than the Current's playlist. I haven't seen a play in years, unless you count Scrimshaw shows, but on January 25th the family is going to "SuperGrover! Ready for Action!" That's kind of like a play, right?

We have floor seats, kind of to the side, but are hoping everything is set up so Noah can get a good view of all the action. And hopefully we'll get out of there without breaking the bank on Sesame Street paraphernalia. I'll have to keep you posted.

Oh, and as for musical performances, the last for us was Har Mar Superstar at the Pizza Luce Block party. I really wanted to go with Jesse and Stan to see Brendan Benson at the 400 Bar, but alas, one of us had to stay home with little man. Sigh. . .

The Best Cookies Ever!

Tuesday we went over to Fornell's new digs for some fine Craiger cusine and to see the new place. The house is laid out somewhat like ours except they have a bigger attic, an additional half bath and a bigger yard. They do have to share a driveway, but then again, we have to share an alley, so it all evens out.

I told Craig not to worry about making something a three year old would like. Noah ate some rice and then mounds and mounds of Swedish Pepparkakor or "wish cookies". You are supposed to hold them in the palm of your hand and tap them with your index finger. If they break into three pieces (see below) you get a wish. Noah didn't engage in the wishing part, but did dip them in Stan's coffee. I know, I know, we're great parents! What parent doesn't give their three year old coffee at 10 PM at night? Huh? We were kind of beat near the end of the night, but really enjoy having the Fornell's back in town. Word to C & T: if you move back to Portland, you can take us with you.

Last Day of Autumn

Stan took Friday off to spend with the fam. We packed a picnic and went to the nearest park/lake. Here is the only picture I took before the batteries went out:

Noah at Three Rivers District Park

We then went to Castle Heights Park, Noah's favorite park ever. It was a little brisk out, but we all had a good time. The next day, it snowed. Our timing really could not have been better!

Holy BeJesus on a Doily!!

Maybe I'll get into heaven if I learn to crochet this!

The Apprentice by Lewis Libby

Nice to know that good, Christian conservatives like Libby are running the country.

My favorite reviews from Amazon.com:

"Like a good conservative, Libby glorifies forced bestiality"

"At age ten the madam put the child in a cage with a bear trained to couple with young girls so the girls would be frigid and not fall in love with their patrons. They fed her through the bars and aroused the bear with a stick when it seemed to lose interest."

This really gets to the heart of the conservative family values that good Republicans like Scooter Libby represent. I wonder if child rape was a part of Scooter's own family upbringing? He seems to be well versed in the practice.

"Libby is a Sick Criminal"

You already know that this guy is a criminal who has tried to get American foreign service officers killed, but did you know how sick this guy is? Read this from the Washington Post:

In literary style, Libby's guilt is an open-&-smut case

...A few days later, Vice President Cheney's chief of staff sent me an inscribed copy of "The Apprentice," his 1996 novel of early 20th-century Japan. I never got past the second page.

Luckily, in the latest New Yorker, Lauren Collins summarizes the novel's sex scenes.

"The main female character, Yukiko, draws hair on the 'mound' of a little girl," Collins reports. "The brothers of a dead samurai have sex with his daughter."

Meanwhile, "certain passages can better be described as reminiscent of Penthouse Forum," Collins writes. "Other sex scenes are less conventional."

Collins quotes from the indicted aide's novel: "At age 10 the madam put the child in a cage with a bear trained to couple with young girls so the girls would be frigid and not fall in love with their patrons. They fed her through the bars and aroused the bear with a stick when it seemed to lose interest."

British Literary Review editor Nancy Sladek, who oversees a Bad Sex fiction writing contest, tells Collins: "That's a bit depraved, isn't it, this kind of thing about bears and young girls?" Never mind the passage concerning sex with a deer.

Children and animals as sex objects? Unless you want your money to go to a perverted traitor to our country, DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK.

But I was only Supposed to be a Puppet!

Have you heard about Michael Brown's e-mails yet? If not, check this out.

"I'm trapped."

"Can I quit yet?"

Umm . . . aren't you supposed to be working on getting help to people? Not trying to find a way out of your job? Or figuring out which tie to wear?

Asshole.

At least he was receiving helpful advice like, "Make sure to have your sleeves rolled up to your elbows at all times to appear that you are working hard on the issue. Like the president."