Parent's Worst Nightmare

The Terrie Shiavo ordeal is over. She passed away this morning after no food or water for 13 days. The situation grabbed the attention of the US and most of the world. It is not only a situation shrouded in shades of grey, but it hits home emotionally on several levels: the passing of a child - every parent's worst nightmare, having a spouse suffer a horribly debilitating accident, and what you would want your loved ones to do if you were in Terrie's situation.

I am not a Roman Catholic. I don't know the religious implications of the decision on Terrie's soul. However, the God I know would not make Terrie suffer from the decisions of her husband. I believe that he will be accountable for his actions in the beyond, and she will be responsible for hers.

I believe that actions speak louder than words. And Michael Shiavo's actions have been portrayed as straighforward and honest while her family have spouted accusations of everything from gold digging to spousal abuse. I know they are angry. I know others are angry. But calling him a murderer and threatening his life shows you as the lesser person.

If he was after money, he could have accepted the $10 million offer to turn over guardianship of Terrie. If he didn't have a moral conviction that this was what he needed to do for Terrie, why wouldn't he just give up and walk away? Get a divorice and live his life with his girlfriend and his kids? It makes sense to me that he is doing this for Terrie, for I can't think of one benefit this is giving him.

Florida law gives the spouse the right to speak for an incapacitated person. Just like 32 other states in the US. This situation happens all the time. Michael is not a monster. He is a grieving spouse who has been caught in a horrible situation for 15 years. The Shindlers are not horrible people. They are angry and hurt, suffering first the loss of hope their child will be returned to them and finally the death of their child. They are striking out in pain, flailing for help, hoping for a miracle. I don't expect them to be ashamed or apologetic of their actions. I just hope that they can forgive Michael one day and work in a non-condeming fashion for families to have equal say as spouses in this matter.

I hope I never am in that situation with my child. I can't even imagine the pain and confusion a parent would be in. I hope that I am never in this situation with my husband. It would be hard to let go, or not have others be able to let go of him if I thought it was time. Like many others, I have discussed this with my family. They know my explicit wishes to never be on machines of any kind. I don't want to be a burden to my family. Give me 12 months, tops. If I haven't recovered, let me go. I will be with God and they will be free to live their lives without me.

This is so morbid. So sad. I'm going to go and focus on my kid for awhile. On life.